Attack of the Kunos
by PrincessRose1
Summary: Not Another Generation Fic 5. Kuno is moving back to Japan from Hawaii and invites his old friends to the renewal of his wedding vows. The strange thing is he claims to have been married to the Pigtailed Girl for the past 18 years.
1. Attack of the Kunos

**NOT ANOTHER GENERATION FIC 5!**

I don't know if I should be saying "Yay! Kuno's back!" or "Oh no! Kuno's back!" Either way, he's come to wreak havoc in the lives of our loveable cast. It's Not Another Generation Fic! For the fifth time around! They warned me the first four times, but did I listen? Not in the slightest! The first four Generation Fic stories can be found on my profile page. And remember, every story loves a review!

**ATTACK OF THE KUNOS**

It was a bright beautiful afternoon in the district of Nerima. There was barely a cloud in the sky to foreshadow the approaching doom that awaited our heroes. Nor was there any warning for the rookie mailman who had the unfortunate duty of delivering mail to the Tendo Dojo.

"Do de do!" The young mailman sang to himself as he whirled down the street on his bicycle. "Ah! What a perfect day! It must be a good omen for my budding career as a mailman!" He came to a halt and set his bike against the street wall before searching through his sack for the right stack of letters that had been held together by a rubber band.

The mailman had begun to step onto the walkway leading to the Saotomes' front door when he noticed something strange that made him stop. Protruding from the bushes was a wooden sign that read 'Beware of Panda', it also had a terrible sketch of an angry panda in the corner of the sign.

"Beware of panda?" The mailman took a few steps off the path, closer to the sign. "That's strange." He said to himself as he leaned in to get a better look at it.

Right at that moment a huge panda erupted from the bushes, roaring with all of his might. The panda itself had been holding the sign! "AAAAHHHHH!" The mailman cowered in the panda's shadow as it descended upon him. "NOOOOOOO!"

Moments later the mailman realized that he wasn't dead. But he was being crushed by the bear's huge arms that were wrapped around him.

"There's something you don't see everyday! The Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Art's _Bear Hug Attack_!" Soun shouted as he appeared next to the panda.

"Uh… excuse me?" The mailman wheezed.

"Pops! What do you think you're doing?" A shout came from above. The mailman looked up just in time to see a man with a pig tail and wearing a blue gi, flying towards him and the panda. Ranma caught Genma in the side of the head with his kick, knocking him back into the wall. He landed near the mailman, who had fallen to his knees after being dropped. "What are you weirdos thinking? Scaring off another mailman?"

Genma stood back up, looking angry. 'Don't stand in our way, Ranma! This is bigger than you and me!'

Ranma stood in a fighting stance. "Oh, is that so? Well we keep getting complaints from the postal office and Akane's been getting on my case about it so forgive me if I'm skeptical."

"Ranma! Has marriage and children dulled your senses so much that you can not see the danger that is ahead?" Soun asked with drama ferocity. Genma quickly wrote out a new sign. 'I agree! Ranma's gone soft!'

Ranma's gritted his teeth angrily. "I'll so you who's gone soft you old fart!" He jumped at Genma only to be smacked with a sign that read 'Take that!' While Ranma issued another attack Soun walked over to the frightened mailman.

"Give us our mail quickly! There's only so much time!" Soun shouted.

The mailman stared at him for a moment before pointing at the ground where the letters had scattered. Soun jumped at the letters but Ranma beat him to them. With a swift kick both Genma and Soun were sent flying across Nermia. "DON'T YOU TWO HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO?" Ranma shouted after them.

Meanwhile, the mailman had started to crawl towards the exit, eager to put some distance between him at these loonies. He heard the front door to the house open and a woman quickly made her way towards him. "I'm so sorry!" Akane quickly pulled the mailman to his feet. Her strength surprised him. She had to be at least ten years older than him. "It won't happen-, Oh! You're new."

The mailman straightened his hat and caught his breath. "Y- Yeah. Robbie retired."

"It's not because of us, is it?" Akane asked frantically.

"Uh… I wouldn't know." The mailman confessed.

"Ranma! I thought you were watching them!" Akane rounded on her husband with a fierce look. "You said you could handle it!"

"I did!" Ranma pointed at the mailman. "See? He's just fine! It's not my fault they got bored with checkers!"

Akane bowed to the mailman. "Again, we're very sorry."

The mailman smiled crookedly. "S- Sure. Don't even worry about- about it. I'm… I'm just gonna go." He said as he began to back away towards the exit, still very shaken by the fact that he was nearly eaten alive by a pet panda bear.

Akane sighed as he jumped around the corner and out of sight. "Honestly! I can't believe our fathers attacked the mailman five days in a row! Why would they do something like that?" She huffed as she bent down and began gathering the mail from the ground.

"Beats me. It doesn't make any sense, even for them." Ranma leaned down to help her.

A moment later they had all of the mail they could find in a pile. Akane was looking under the bush when she suddenly screamed in delight and held up a magazine. On the cover was an overly polished woman holding a delicious looking casserole. "It came! I knew it would be here any day now!" Akane said happily as she began to flip through the magazine.

Ranma's face fell as he saw the title on the cover. "A thousand easy-to-make homemade casseroles? No wonder they were attacking the mailman! Akane, please tell me you're not planning to make us a thousand casseroles."

Akane glared at him. "Please, Ranma. They're 'easy-to-make'. The ad said that _anyone_ could make these casseroles. Even a monkey could do it. So don't start with me!"

Ranma grinned. "I already know a monkey could make these. But it's not Makoto I'm worried about baking, it's you." He jumped just in time to avoid being hit by the rolled up magazine. Then he sprinted inside before Akane could take another swing.

"You're such a jerk, Ranma! You're just asking for divorce!" Akane shouted after him angrily. She quickly gathered up the mail and followed after him. But before she even made it to the door Akane was sidetracked by something else she saw in the mail.

She shifted aside a bill to see a postcard with a picture of the beach on it. It read _'Greetings from Osaka!'_ in a bold loopy print on the corner of the card. She turned it over to read the back.

'_Dear Ranma and Akane,_

_Ucc-chan's has done especially well this season. I had to hire five new waitresses to just handle all the beach tourists. Sorry we couldn't make it to Nerima last summer to visit, but I just couldn't close up shop during the busy season. Perhaps when the weather gets colder we can arrange something. Satu started high school this fall and he seems to be getting along pretty well. Hope everyone in Nerima is doing well!_

_With love,_

_Ukyo and Konatsu'_

Akane smiled as she turned to card back over to look at the front again. She stepped inside before setting the rest of the post down next to the phone in the hallway. "Wow, is Satu really in high school already? I suppose he would be since he's in the same year as Makoto. But I hadn't stopped to think about it."

She made her way to the dinning room, still looking over the postcard. Ranma was sitting at the table, unsure if he was still in danger or not. Since Akane didn't make any brash movements towards him when she walked in he supposed he was safe. "What have you got there?" He asked as he set down a cup of coffee.

"It's a letter from Ukyo." Akane handed him the postcard. "Did you know Satu's in high school?"

Ranma nearly choked. "What? That's impossible. Didn't he JUST start middle school?" Ranma looked at the card, scrutinizing it as though it were trying to fool them.

"Ranma, Satu is a few months older than Makoto, remember? He'll be fifteen next month." Akane took a seat next to him. "Where does the time go?" She sighed.

Ranma grunted and set the letter on the table. Akane picked it up. "Still, we haven't visited with them for a nearly a year. I'll call Ukyo and see if we can't set something up. It'll be fun!"

"Yeah," Ranma agreed with a slight smile. "I have to admit, there's nothing like hearing from old friends."

It was at that exact moment that they heard a polite knock coming from down the hallway at the front door. "I'll get it." Akane pushed herself up and hurried out of the room. Ranma stayed where he was and tried to think of the best way to get rid of the casserole magazine without Akane noticing.

The knocking continued persistently until Akane made it to the front door. "Okay! Okay! I'm coming!" She shouted irritably. She opened the door but quickly had to recoil to avoid being hugged.

"AKANE TENDO!" A man leapt forward with his arms held wide and a huge smile on his face. Though he was much older than the last time Akane had seen him, he was unmistakably Tatewaki Kuno. "Come into my arms! How I have missed you!"

Kuno scooped her off the floor and held her like a knight holding his princess. "K- Kuno?" Akane faltered.

"Yes! It is I Akane Tendo! I have traveled many miles to see you! Over both land and sea!" He pointed mystically towards the horizon. That was when she noticed he was wearing a brown business suit. It looked strange on him, like it was too constraining.

"Kuno! Is that you?" Ranma came around the corner into the hallway. "What are you doing here? I thought you moved to Hawaii!" Ranma asked with a shocked expression. "We haven't seen you in- in…"

"Twenty years." Kuno finished for him. "Ah, yes! I remember it well! It was soon after your marriage to Akane."

_TWENTY YEARS EARLIER_

A young Kuno stood on the deck of a cruise liner, waving goodbye to a young Ranma and Akane who were standing on the beach. "Farewell my dear Akane! I'm sorry it hast to be this way! If I could marry two women, I would surely have you!" Kuno called chivalrously.

"Oh, my beloved Kuno!" Akane cried, tears streaming down her face. "Why? Why must you leave me with Ranma when it is you I love?"

Kuno clinched his fist as if he were in a great deal of pain. "Please understand! Ranma will take good care of you! I know it hurts! But take comfort in the fact that you will always be in my heart!"

"And you will be in mine, Kuno! Forever!" Akane wailed as she covered her face in her hands. Ranma reached over and hugged Akane so that she could cry on his shoulder. Then he looked over the water towards Kuno with a hard expression. "You have broken her heart, Kuno! You monster! I will take responsibility for standing between you two and try to give Akane a fraction of the happiness she would have had with you!" Tears were also streaming down Ranma's face by this point.

"I only ask one thing, Ranma!" Kuno shouted in a quavering voice. "That you provide a good life for her!"

Ranma's expression softened and he smiled. "I swear, brother! I swear!" He waved goodbye with a sad smile on his face while Kuno's ship sailed into the distance, Akane soaking his shirt with tears.

_PRESENT DAY_

Kuno bit his lip and tried to hold back tears. "I have lived with a guilty conscience to this day! Forgive me Akane!"

Ranma waited for his bewilderment at Kuno's story to pass before he rolled his eyes. "It was _something_ like that."

Akane just looked irritated. "Do you mind…PUTTING ME DOWN?" She punched Kuno's jaw up and he dropped her.

"As feisty as ever I see!" Kuno laughed as he massaged his jaw. "That's fine, so long as you accept my apologies for abandoning you all those years ago." He added seriously.

"YOU DIDN'T ABANDON ANYONE!" Akane screamed.

"Did you come all the way from Hawaii just for that?" Ranma asked in a peeved voice.

"Of course not!" Kuno was suddenly sitting down at the dinning room table and pouring himself a cup of coffee from the pot on the table.

"Hey! Hey! Did we invite you in?" Ranma slammed his hands on the table.

"Don't you want to catch up with an old friend?" Kuno asked.

Ranma leaned his head on his hand. "I can think of a few who are higher on the list."

"Ranma! Don't be rude!" Akane snapped.

"Oh, Akane Tendo! You really are too good for me!" Kuno leaned towards her but she pushed his face back. "But how have things been going with you two? Tell me everything!" He continued

"I teach in our dojo, okay? Now tell me why you're in Japan!" Ranma demanded.

"Oh, yes." Kuno straightened his tie. "I had wanted to keep it secret, but I suppose there's no fooling you Ranma. I'm moving back to Nerima!"

"You're what?" Ranma stammered.

"Yes! I arrived several weeks ago to fix up my old mansion. You see, I manage my family's money."

"Manage your family's money?" Ranma asked. "Wait… so you don't work at all? Then why are you wearing a business suit?"

Kuno looked surprised. "Well I wanted to look presentable to meet my old friends."

Ranma sighed and scratched his head. "Okay, I guess it is kinda good to see you again Kuno."

Akane smiled with a sweat drop running down her cheek. "So when are you actually moving in?"

Kuno took another sip of his coffee. "I must admit, it is a very difficult process, moving all our possessions from one side of the world to the other. But the plane holding everything arrived yesterday. I have movers taking it into the mansion as we speak. My wife and son also arrived on a plane this morning."

Ranma, who had been taking a drink at the time, had to hold his nose to stop liquid from coming out from laughing. Akane just looked surprised. "Oh, so you did get married after all?" _I thought that was just part of his story. _She thought to herself.

"Well congratulations Kuno!" Ranma said with a sly smile. "So who's the unlucky sap?"

Kuno folded his arms. "Hmph. Do not be so quick to insult my wife, Ranma. It is someone you know well."

"Oh?" Ranma said, still smiling.

"For you see, I married none other than my childhood sweetheart! The Pigtailed Girl!" Kuno declared.

The silence that followed this statement was of the sort you hear about only in legend. Ranma's face was frozen in his stupid smile; Akane's eyes were wide and staring at Kuno in disbelief. "Ha ha. That's really funny, Kuno. Now tell us who you really married." Ranma eventually said.

Kuno's expression turned to surprise. "I am not joking."

Ranma's mouth dropped for a moment before he face screwed into a look of anger. "Don't be stupid! You're not married to the Pigtailed Girl! That's completely impossible!"

"How so?" Kuno asked, completely clueless.

Ranma stood up. "Because I've been living here all these years you idiot! There's no way I was your wife in Hawaii!"

Kuno also stood from his seat to match Ranma's growing anger. "Did I say you were, heathen? You accuse me of making up stories! Do you think I would joke around about the love of my life? You haven't changed at all, Ranma!"

"Kuno," Akane interrupted. Ranma and Kuno looked her way. "When exactly did you marry the Pigtailed Girl?"

"DON'T TELL ME YOU BELIEVE HIM?" Ranma shouted anxiously.

"No, of course not! But this is Kuno we're talking about. He might have misconstrued some incident between you two as a marriage vow or something." Akane said.

"Ah, yes! I remember it perfectly!" Kuno held his hand up to his chin in thought, as though he hadn't head what Akane had said. "It was eighteen years ago on a beautiful beach in Hawaii. My horrid father provided the music but was quickly dealt with. The Pigtailed Girl's beautiful red hair was braided with tropical flowers. And the island natives provided a feast of roasted boar over a spit. I gave her a white shell necklace I had made with my own two hands in lieu of a wedding ring. We spent our honeymoon on a small secluded island, alone for two weeks of-"

"I think that's enough." Ranma irritably grabbed the front of Kuno's suit. "You're just making stuff up to mess with my head aren't you?"

"Why would I lie about my love for the Pigtailed Girl? Surely you are jealous." Kuno said with a knowing smile.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Ranma demanded furiously.

Kuno sighed heavily. "Ranma, I had hoped the years would mature you. But even so, I can not ignore my childhood friends. I have brought something for you both. That's really why I came here today."

"Wasn't it to apologize to me? Then to catch up?" Akane asked in exasperation.

Kuno reached to a pocket inside his suit jacket and pulled out two square pieces of paper. They were in embroidered with cherubs and ribbons. The golden writing read '_You are invited to the Kuno wedding renewal!_' then gave the date and time.

"Wedding renewal?" Ranma glowered at the invitation.

Surprisingly, Kuno looked forlorn. "Yes, apparently shell necklaces don't last forever like diamonds. My dear Pigtailed Girl was so upset when the necklace broke while out on our sail boat! The pieces were lost at sea that day. So I decided to buy her a beautiful wedding ring. But why stop there? With this ring will come a new era in our relationship! And the new wedding will assert our vows of love to the world!" It was at that moment that Kuno got a kick in the face.

"I told ya! You're not married to the Pigtailed Girl!" Ranma shouted in frustration. "Even if that were physically, emotionally, or morally possible! You still call her 'Pigtailed Girl'! Wouldn't you know her name by now?"

"I think I know my own wife!" Kuno spat angrily. "And I would appreciate it if you hold your tongue, Saotome!"

"OH! So I'm Saotome now!" Ranma shot back.

A loud noise silenced them as Akane banged her hands down on the table, knocking over the coffee pot. "Be quiet!" They stared at a huffing angry Akane for a few seconds before she spoke. "Kuno… come on. You can't really be married to the Pigtailed Girl.'

Kuno grabbed his chest as though he had been shot through it. "You too, Akane? I- I can't believe you would accuse me of lying! I am very hurt! I'll prove it to you then! I have a picture of her in my wallet!" He pulled out a wallet from his back pants pocket and quickly began shifting through it.

A few moments later Kuno gave up his search. "That's strange. I know I had a picture of her in here."

"How convenient." Ranma scoffed.

"Oh, that's right! I left the picture at the store so they could frame it!" Kuno tapped his fist on his other hand in remembrance. "But I do have a picture our son." He picked up a picture.

"What? No way!" Ranma tried to look over Kuno's shoulder, but Kuno handed it to Akane instead.

Akane's expression changed to some mix of surprise, humor, and terror. Ranma quickly scooted behind her so he could see. Then he understood why.

It was a headshot of a boy that looked similar to Kuno in his eyes and expression. Aside from that he had brown hair cut into a bowl shape, thick glasses that make his eyes look really small, and a flower print Hawaiian shirt that were tucked into his pants, which were held up by a pair of red suspenders to match the shirt. But easily the boy's most dominant feature was his head gear, which was holding his face into a constant and somewhat creepy smile. This wasn't a little boy either; he was a teenager, probably Daichi or Jatsuma's age. He also appeared to be sunburned.

Ranma and Akane stared at the picture in disbelief. Kuno chuckled. "Ah, the fruit of our loins! He is a handsome boy, isn't he?"

"Uh…yeah." Akane stammered, shivering slightly.

Ranma looked from the picture to the wedding invitation to Kuno's confident expression. _Does he really believe he's married to the Pigtailed Girl?_

"Are you convinced now? I am indeed the Pigtailed Girl's husband." Kuno said as thought the case were closed.

Akane blinked then turned to look at Ranma. Ranma stared back at her for a minute before his stare turned into a glare. "I DID NO SUCH THING! LIKE I WOULD HAVE A KID THAT UGLY!"

Kuno's presence suddenly turned fiery with fighting aura. "How dare you insult my son in front of me! Perhaps I was mistaken in inviting you to my wedding! You are hereby stricken from the guest list!" He took Ranma's invitation and tore it in half with dramatic dexterity. Then let the pieces float to the floor.

A vein in Ranma's forehead was popping. "I didn't want to go to your nonexistent wedding in the first place!"

"Dear Akane, you of course are still invited." Kuno sat next to Akane and took her hands in his. "I would love to have you there and I know it would mean the world to my dear wife. She speaks of you quite often."

"Does she now?" Akane asked.

Ranma snapped. With one well placed kick, Kuno was sent flying through the roof into the stratosphere. He huffed angrily as he glared at the hold in the ceiling Kuno had left. "Geez, he's finally lost it."

"I don't know." Akane wondered. "I know he has a tendency to be dense but would he really make up something so elaborate?"

Ranma folded his arm. "I know one thing. There's something rotten in the district of Nerima."


	2. Identical Stranger

Back to the kids! Woohoo! Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter, I haven't gotten that many reviews in a while. I'll call it… my review renewal! That has a nice ring.

**IDENTICAL STRANGER**

"Come on, Jatsuma. It's not all that bad." Daichi tried to console his brother. The two boys were walking home from school and the younger one had a very sour look on his face. But other than that, Jatsuma was a very handsome boy with light brown hair tied into a ponytail and blue eyes. Daichi on the other hand, had messy short black hair and brown eyes.

Since it was Saturday and they got out of school early, the restaurants and shops that lined the street were bursting of young people eager to enjoy their limited time off from school. But Jatsuma was in no mood to join them.

"Not that bad? _Not that bad?_" Jatsuma whispered venomously.

_EARLIER_

"It's okay! You can be open about your sexuality with us!" A cute young girl said in a cheerful voice. Her two friends behind her giggled uncontrollably. People in the hallway were stopping to watch.

"WHAT?" Jatsuma's eyes twitched and ponytail seemed to stand on end in shock and irritation. This was a girl he had gone out with before! Surely she didn't believe these stupid rumors _too_? "Whatever you've heard, it's not true!" He said desperately.

"Well it explains everything!" The girl persisted.

Jatsuma's face fell. "It does?"

"Sure! It explains why you never called me back! And why you never stayed with one girl for too long. You just couldn't get attached because you really like boys." Her friends gave her encouraging smiles. "I was at the game and I think it's just so sweet how you announced your feelings for Razor to everyone! It was awfully romantic!"

Jatsuma's heart sank into his stomach and his mouth hang open. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" His anger flared up. "I'm not gay! Those are just stupid rumors! It was all just one big misunderstanding! And even if I was gay- which I'm not- I certainly wouldn't go after Razor!" He folded his arms.

At that moment he was caught in the side of the face with a powerful left hook punch. Jatsuma slammed into the lockers and tumbled backwards onto the floor. Razor stood above him with her fist clinched and a deadly glare in her eyes. A moment later she stalked away in an obviously foul mood.

"They're so cute together!" One of the girl's friends whispered to the other. "Totally!" The other whispered back. Jatsuma lay frozen in that spot.

_NOW_

Jatsuma gritted his teeth in frustration. The memory of that game had haunted him for days now. Was it his fault that the microphone got turned on so everyone could hear his conversation with Razor? Why should he pay because she can't tell anyone she's actually a girl?

_Stupid Razor. I've kept the fact that she's a girl secret from everyone, but is she grateful? No! All I meant was that I wouldn't go after her _because_ a gay guy _wouldn't_ go after a girl! WHICH SHE IS! Why does she have to take everything like it's an insult? _He thought furiously to himself.

Daichi watched Jatsuma's brooding face and sighed. "Most people don't even remember what happened anymore. Trust me, in a few days this rumor will completely evaporate and everyone will go back to thinking you're the skirt-chasing pig you really are."

Jatsuma smiled. "Thanks Daichi. You're a good brother. A real role model." Daichi rolled his eyes.

Ever since the incident at the soccer stadium several days ago Jatsuma had been dealing with a lot of rumors about his sexual orientation. Through a huge misunderstanding and a whole lot of bad luck, Jatsuma had announced over the speakers to the whole stadium (most of which were students at Bunraku High) that he preferred boys to girls. At least that's what everyone had thought he meant. It was the single most embarrassing night of his life, and the humiliation wasn't over.

"Hey! Jatsuma!" Jatsuma and Daichi turned around to see their bleached blond classmate Yukio walking out of a clothing store with his girlfriend April. He was waving to them in a boisterous manner that caught the attention of other people on the street as well. Even a few people whose cars were stopped at the red light turned to look.

Jatsuma's face turned red and he grabbed Daichi and began to walk away as quickly as possible. Yukio had given him nothing but ridicule and grief since the incident with Razor. The way Yukio acted you'd think it was just friendly teasing, except that he did it very loudly and in the presence of at least ten other teenagers. Jatsuma might have gotten away too, except that Daichi tripped over his own feet and slowed them down.

"Jatsuma! How you doing?" Yukio thumped him on the back. "Where's your boyfriend, Razor? Oh, that's right. He hates you!" Yukio laughed along with April and several other people who were standing around before continuing on his way, still laughing. Jatsuma watched them go, literally shaking with anger. "That's it!" He rolled up his sleeves and started to follow after them.

"Don't. They're just trying to egg you on!" Daichi grabbed the back of his shirt.

"And it's working!" Jatsuma snapped.

"Just come on. They're not worth it." He persisted. Jatsuma gave Yukio and his crew a long glare before following his brother down a side street, detouring from their usual route home. Jatsuma had managed to convince some people that he wasn't gay (meaning his closest friends and a few cute girls he knew). But Yukio had kept enough people convinced to cause trouble.

"I bet he's jealous." Jatsuma said with a hmph in his voice. "Yukio's just playing this up so he can take over and be Prince of the school!"

Daichi raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"I should have seen it coming! He kept saying 'be careful Jatsuma or  
Razor will take your place'. Yeah! Right! That slimy little worm! I bet he was hoping for it!"

"Jatsuma, Yukio's always been a jerk. But you're the one who hung out with him in the first place." Daichi pointed out.

"That's because he hung out with cheerleaders! Cheerleaders, Daichi!"

"And that's how you got involved with Luffa."

"You're right!" Jatsuma gasped. "He's been plotting my downfall from the very beginning!"

"Oh, good lord!" Daichi continued on his way, fed up with Jatsuma's ranting. Jatsuma followed after him in silence for a while

"You know, I've decided not to let all of this get to me." Jatsuma said some time later while they were walking down a residential street.

"Really?" Daichi asked in surprise.

"Yes, really. What do I care what people think? I have better ways to preoccupy my time." He said with a growing smile.

"Such as?"

"Buying myself something I've wanted for a long time." Jatsuma stopped with big grin on his face that made Daichi uneasy. When Jatsuma didn't offer further explanation he tried to think of something Jatsuma had wanted.

"Like… a puppy?" Daichi asked, expecting the worst.

Jatsuma shook his head. "No, it's something _electronic._"

"I don't know! An electric toothbrush? Would you just tell me?"

"It's a cell phone!" Jatsuma declared happily as he pulled the device from his pocket. It was small, blue and shined to perfection.

Daichi folded his arms. "Okay, I have a few questions. How did you pay for that?"

Jatsuma folded it open so Daichi could see the back lighted dials. "I saved up for! I've been collecting money for two years to get one of these! Don't you remember when I asked Dad for a cell phone two years ago? He said to save up and buy my own. Besides, the phone was free with my calling plan." He began to dial some numbers.

Daichi looked worried. "Jatsuma, how do you intend to continue paying your charges? You don't have a job. Dad's not going to like it when an unexpected cell phone bill shows up in the mail."

But Jatsuma wasn't listening; he was talking and laughing with someone on the other line. Daichi narrowed his eyes until Jatsuma was finished. "Great! I'll see you then! Bye!" He hung up, looking happier than ever. "See? Now I can plan dates in a fraction of the time I could before."

"Fine. But it's your funeral when Dad finds out." Daichi continued on.

"Don't be a party pooper." Jatsuma said with a laugh.

Daichi smiled. "I'm not. I'm just a realist who actually considers the consequences of my actions." He took another step but lost his balance, but it wasn't due to his usual clumsiness. The ground had started to shake violently. "AHH!"

"AN EARTHQUAKE?" Jatsuma grabbed a lamp pole so he wouldn't fall to the ground. It was then that he saw Iikiba streaking towards them at top speed. Since he wasn't watching where he was going he ran right over top Daichi. Jatsuma stuck out his foot and Iikiba tripped over it, falling flat on his face in the pavement. The shaking stopped. "What's the hurry, Iikiba?"

Iikiba sat up angrily. "You! Are you trying to sabotage me? Now Makoto's gonna catch me!" That was when he noticed Makoto was nowhere to be seen. He looked around curiously. "I guess I really lost her…" He said slowly. Then he stood up with a proud smile. "I must have finally outsmarted her! Haha! From now on, things are going to be different! She can't bug me if she can't catch me!"

That was when Daichi pulled himself out of his imprint in the pavement and glared at Iikiba. "WOULD YOU WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING?"

Iikiba blinked. "Daichi? When did you get here?"

Daichi mumbled under his breath as he stood up and brushed off his clothes.

"So, you're finally rid of Makoto, huh? Left my little sister crying in the dust, didya?" Jatsuma asked an amused smirk.

"That's right!" Iikiba seemed to swell with pride. "This has been the best week ever! It seems that as things get worse for you they get better for me!"

Jatsuma's expression changed to an annoyed frown. "Well I wouldn't want to leave Makoto upset." He took out his new cell phone and flipped it open threateningly. Iikiba recoiled at the sight of it.

"What are you doing?" He asked apprehensively.

"Just giving Makoto a call." Jatsuma said casually, his fingers waving above the dials.

Iikiba gasped in apprehension. "You're going to tell her where I am!" Desperate, he lunged towards the phone. But Jatsuma dodged to the side.

"Really? Would I do that?" A grinning Jatsuma waved the phone in front of Iikiba's face.

"Give me that phone!" Iikiba jumped after him right as Jatsuma made a break for it.

"Hey! Hold on!" Daichi shouted after them as they ran down the street. Reluctantly he followed, placing his steps carefully so he wouldn't trip.

Jatsuma in the lead, the three of them rounded the corner down an alleyway and came out next to the waterway. Daichi ran along next to the gate, trying to keep up. Right as he was starting to get impressed by how far he had come, his foot caught on a piece of gravel and he fell, face-first, into the street.

"Aw, man!" He sat up sputtering. "Guys! Wait up!" But then he realized that they were already gone. "Geez." Using the fence to steady himself, Daichi stood up. "How is he supposed to call Makoto anyway? She doesn't even have a cell phone!"

It was then that he noticed someone walking on the other side of the waterway. It was a woman with bright red hair tied back in a pigtail. Daichi smiled in amusement. His father rarely went out in girl form anymore if he could avoid it. "Hey Dad!" Shouted Daichi; waving a hand in the air.

But Ranma didn't acknowledge him. Daichi raised his voice. "DAD! OVER HERE!" He called again. Still there was no response. Ranma just continued on his way, oblivious to his son. Daichi sighed in annoyance. "Is NOONE listening today?"

Going as quickly as he could without falling, Daichi ran down the opposite way the woman was walking and over a bridge, hoping to catch up with her. "DAAAAD!" He shouted again as he rounded off the bridge and went after her.

Ranma was still unparsed. Daichi's mouth hang open as an annoying thought struck him. _Is he ignoring me?_ He thought furiously, tripping over his own feet. With that thought in mind he picked up a piece of loose rock from the old road and chucked it towards her.

The rock knocked her square in the back of the head and she came crashing to the ground. Now Daichi's mouth was hanging open in shock and worry. "DAD!"

He ran forward and turned her over. "I'm sorry! I didn't think it would hurt you! Huh?" For the first time, Daichi noticed that Ranma wasn't wearing his normal clothes. She was wearing a kimono with a peach bottom and cheery blossom print top and tied around her pigtail was a large pink bow that clashed horribly with her hair.

It was about then that the red haired woman came to. She blinked once or twice to clear her vision and then smacked Daichi clear across the face. "EEK!"

"DAH!" Daichi held a hand over his stinging face. "What was that for? And what are you wearing?"

"Stay away!" The woman scrambled to her feet and held up her purse threateningly. As thought she was going to hit him with it.

Daichi blinked in confusion. "Dad?"

The woman huffed. "Don't try to confuse me, you mugger! I'm clearly a woman and nobody's father!"

"Uh…" Daichi stared at her for a moment. She was the spitting image of Ranma in girl form. Right down to the shade of her blue eyes. "S- Sorry. You just look like someone I know."

For some reason this made the woman look uneasy. "Oh? Do I?" She asked nervously. "I- I get that I lot! Bye!" She said quickly before turning to walk down the street, Daichi noticed, more quickly than before.

When she had gone Daichi turned to go back to the other side of the waterway. "That was weird. I've heard two strangers being identical… but there was something not right about that woman."

Pondering this and wondering if he should rush home to tell his Dad, Daichi crossed over the bridge to the other side. But when he was halfway across he felt rather than saw something small run by. "AAHH!" He fell over in surprise. Then he realized that a fuzzy black Chihuahua with a red band tied around its neck was caught under his foot. "Iikiba! Be more careful!" He shouted at the little dog.

"DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!" Jatsuma's voice shouted towards them. He was standing at the end of the bridge, carrying a bucket of water with steam floating out of it in one hand and Iikiba's school uniform in the other.

"Did I miss something?" Daichi asked.

"Just the usual." Jatsuma said before getting serious. "The little bugger's got my cell phone!"

Sure enough, clamped in Iikiba's jaws was the cell phone, its antenna bent slightly. The little dog struggled to get away as Daichi picked him up by the scruff of his neck and growled as Jatsuma got near.

"Spit it out you mangy mutt! Do you have any idea how long I saved to buy that? You're getting your dog slobber all over it!" Jatsuma shouted angrily. "And the antenna's bent!"

"Grrrrrrrr!" Iikiba growled deeply, showing his little white teeth.

"If you don't drop it I'm going to have you spayed!" Jatsuma advanced but Daichi held out his arm to stop him.

"Jatsuma, something really strange just happened." He said.

"Strange? What's strange is that you're defending the enemy!" Jatsuma said angrily.

Daichi narrowed his eyes. "Oh, grow up! And gimme that water!" He snatched the bucket from Jatsuma's hands, but Jatsuma wouldn't let go.

"No!" Jatsuma and Daichi both tugged on the bucket. It shook and half the water spilled out onto Iikiba. "GAH!" Daichi and Jatsuma jumped back as Iikiba turned almost instantaneously to human.

"ACK! Yuck!" Iikiba spit the phone into his hand.

"Put some clothes on!" Jatsuma threw Iikiba's clothes at him. "And give me back my phone!"

Iikiba dressed quickly and held the phone high over his head. "So you can turn me in? I don't think so!" Right as he said this the antenna broke off and the number three button popped off of the phone. Iikiba's eyes widened and he brought the phone down to look at it. And then the mouth piece fell off as well. "Wow, these things aren't very sturdy, are they?"

Jatsuma's gaping expression contorted with fury. "YOU! YOU DESTROYED MY PHONE!"

"AAHHH!" Iikiba make a break for it, Jatsuma chasing after him at top speed. "Guys! Wait a minute! ARGH!" Daichi shouted in frustration as he grabbed his school bag and ran after them. The phone was left forgotten on the pavement.

Several minutes of running thought the streets later, Iikiba came to the top of an unusually steep incline in the road and only just managed to stop before going over. "What are you stopping for?" Jatsuma stopped right behind him.

Iikiba didn't have a chance to answer because right then Daichi slammed into Jatsuma and sent all three of them tumbling down the hill. "YAAAAHHHH!"

_AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL_

"Thank you and come again!" The glass figurine salesman waved goodbye to his most resent customer. The shop was now empty and he was ready to close up early so he could spend a quiet Saturday night at home. He whistled to himself as he locked the cash register and walked to the front door to grab his coat off the rack.

CRASH! A defining crash shook the store and the shop keep saw the front window and every piece of glass near it shatter as three people smashed through it, screaming like madmen.

"Ow." Daichi picked himself up out of the rubble, rubbing his head. He looked around to see Jatsuma and Iikiba were both also standing up dizzily.

The shop owner's eyes twitched uncontrollably as his gaze landed on them. "_You_… You're the ones who have been destroying my shop!" He spat angrily.

Daichi held up his hands. "S- Sorry!"

"THAT'S THREE TIMES NOW!" The shop keeper grabbed a broom and held it up.

Jatsuma stepped forward. "Hey, buddy. It was just an accident."

The shop keeper lost his temper and swung his broom at Jatsuma, who had to jump in the air to dodge it. "Yow!"

"Run for it!" Iikiba shouted, and they did.

The three boys fumbled out onto the street and ran as fast as they could. But the shop keeper didn't give up so easily. He darted out the now open window and chased them down the street with his broom held high over his head, shouting curses at them as they started to draw ahead.

After several minutes they had sufficiently outran him and they dodged into a narrow alleyway to hide. Panting, Jatsuma slid to the ground. "That was more exercise than I wanted today."

"Three times. Do you have some kind of grudge against that guy?" Iikiba asked Daichi.

"All three times were accidents!" Daichi snapped.

"Hey! What are you guys doing back there?" A girl's voice shouted towards them from the street. Lotion had happened to be walking by on the other street when they had run into the alleyway. She had done a double take before realizing who was down there.

Daichi went ridged. "We're fine! Great even!" He yelled back cheerfully, blushing slightly.

"We are?" Jatsuma asked.

Lotion blinked in confusion. He hadn't answered her question, but then she decided she'd rather not know.


	3. Motorcycle Man

Sorry I haven't been more direction about this story, I kind of danced around the subject but never stated outright that this was the fifth story in a series called Not Another Generation Fic. This series is centered on the children of Ranma and Akane as well as the other Nerimans. Though this story is more about Ranma himself than previous stories… but anyhoo! Thanks for reading! (Some of what's going on may be difficult to understand unless you read the previous stories; they're on my profile page in any case.)

**MOTORCYCLE MAN**

_AT THE CAT CAFÉ_

Luffa pushed the plates of food irritably toward Jatsuma, Daichi and Iikiba. They were sitting at a small round table at the Cat Café just after Lotion had found them and brought them back from the alleyway. All three where hoping that the glass figurine shop owner would give up on his search for them by the time they were finished eating.

With a huff, Luffa threw three wrapped straws and three pairs of disposable chopsticks at Jatsuma. They bounced off his head and chest as she stalked away.

"So she still hasn't forgiven you for the 'incident'?" Daichi asked.

At the soccer game where Jatsuma had accidentally made a fool of himself, Luffa and Mascara had been fighting over him. Luffa (who was Lotion's twin) thought she was Jatsuma's fiancée and Mascara (an Amazon girl who had followed Iikiba and Makoto back from China) thought she was.

"No." Jatsuma said irritably. "And Mascara's just as bad! They seem to think I was pretending to be gay so I could get out of choosing one of them!"

"Well, it worked didn't it?" Iikiba said with a smile, ramen noodles hanging out of his mouth. Jatsuma grumbled, picking at his food.

_BACK IN THE KITCHEN_

Mascara finished polishing a fork and threw it into the drawer with a look of irritation on her face. Luffa pushed open the door and walked in. "Jatsuma and his little buddies are out there." She said.

"I know. I saw them come in." Mascara said with a painfully fake smile which Luffa returned. _What's Luffa doing? Taking food out to Jatsuma when we're still supposed to be mad at him? Trying to get an edge over me I bet. _Mascara thought.

_Mascara will definitely try to get back in with Jatsuma if I don't stand between them at all times. _Luffa thought with a grimace.

"Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. My club meeting ran over." Lotion walked into the kitchen from the back of the restaurant where they lived. She was now also wearing a waitress uniform. But Lotion stood back as she saw Luffa and Mascara smiling at one another, all the while angry energy waves were flying off of them.

"O-kay." Lotion said slowly.

_OUT IN THE RESTURANT_

Several minutes later Shampoo came to their table after taking the dink order for the table next to them. "Are you boys staying for desert?" She asked.

"Sure. Why not? I can drown my sorrows in ice cream." Jatsuma said gloomily.

"Three ice creams then." Shampoo wrote the order on her little notebook and took off for the kitchen. Jatsuma slumped over in his chair. _First Razor's mad then Luffa and Mascara are mad. And most of the girls at school think I'm gay. I think I've hit rock bottom._

Daichi rolled his eyes. "Would you get over it already? It was just a cell phone." He said, misreading what Jatsuma's bad mood was about.

Jatsuma snapped up. "That's right!" He rounded on Iikiba. "You destroyed my cell phone!"

Iikiba choked on his noodles. "Hey- Hey look!" He said, pointing towards the corner of the room.

Jatsuma raised his fist. "Like I'd fall for that!"

Daichi turned to look himself; he didn't catch what Iikiba had pointed out at first. But when he did he gasped. "Really! Look!" Jatsuma blinked then turned to see what all the fuss was about.

In the table nestled in the back corner of the restaurant was Setsuko Sato, Daichi's old rival for Lotion. Seeing him wouldn't have been so unusual, as they live in the same district and go to the same school, except that he was wearing a really horrible disguise. There was a pair of sunglasses over his eyes and a blue kerchief tied around his head. He was also wearing a large coat, even though it was a moderate temperature outside.

"What the heck is he doing?" Jatsuma asked with an eyebrow raised.

"I don't know. Do you think he's hiding so Lotion won't recognize him?" Daichi asked anxiously.

"What? Who?" Iikiba stood up so he could get a better look. Jatsuma narrowed his eyes. "Weren't you the first one to see him?"

"Eh-he" Iikiba laughed nervously.

"Well there's only one way to find out." Jatsuma stood up and started to walk back towards Setsuko.

"Jatsuma! No!" Daichi hissed after him. Iikiba quickly stood up and followed. "Iikiba, don't go- ARGH!" Reluctantly, Daichi got up and followed as well.

Setsuko jumped in his seat when he noticed who was coming over. The last time he had had a run in with Jatsuma and Iikiba they had punched him clear into the sky and he wasn't eager for a repeat performance. He quietly hunched over his soup, hoping it wasn't him they had noticed.

"Hey Setsuko! What are you doing here? Come to see Lotion I suppose?" Jatsuma said very loudly.

Setsuko waved his hands frantically. "Shhhhh! Be quiet! If Lotion knows I'm here she'll throw me out!"

"You don't say?" Jatsuma continued in his loud voice.

"If you shut up I'll pay for your food." Setsuko grumbled.

"Alrighty." Jatsuma and Iikiba sat down. "_Guys!_" Daichi said angrily, coming up behind them.

"Well, well. If it isn't the boy won't can't walk two steps." Setsuko sat back smugly. "What brings you here?"

"I was just about to ask you the same thing!" Daichi spat. "What is this? Some ill-fated attempt to win Lotion over?"

"If I wanted Lotion I wouldn't be hiding from her." Setsuko scoffed. "I'm not interested in _her _anymore."

"Oh, please! We're supposed to believe that?" Daichi said.

Setsuko huffed. "Believe what you will. But trust me, I've discovered I like women with more _experience_."

"Ew." Iikiba wrinkled his nose.

"I meant OLDER women!" Setsuko snapped angrily. Jatsuma snorted, trying to hold back a laugh.

"What the heck are you talking about?" Daichi sighed.

"Oh! There you are! You switched tables." Shampoo walked over to their table carrying a tray with three bowls of ice cream, a cheery in each.

Setsuko quickly pulled off his sunglasses and scarf and tried to rub his hair into place as she approached, his face shining red the whole time. Shampoo placed the three bowls on the table along with their bill. "Did you want one too?" She asked Setsuko with a smile.

"I- I- I would love one Miss Shampoo! That would be wonderful!" He said with a breathy voice.

When Shampoo had gone Daichi sat down at the table, his mouth hanging open. "Noooooo…" He whispered. Jatsuma was already snickering uncontrollably. "What the hell are you thinking?" Daichi hissed.

"I've been ordering takeout from this restaurant for weeks, hoping that Shampoo would deliver the food so I could meet her properly." Setsuko sighed dreamily. "But it was always that green haired girl, Mascara. I finally gathered enough courage to come the Cat Café myself. But then you clowns showed up." He growled.

Jatsuma broke from his snickering long enough to say. "He's finally gone insane. We all knew he was teetering on the edge."

"She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." Setsuko persisted. "Just to be near her his bliss."

"But she's _old_!" Iikiba interrupted. "REALLY old! Like, as old as your mom! She has two kids your age! Plus, she's married!"

"Actually she's not." Daichi said meekly. "She and Mousse were never officially married." Jatsuma stopped laughing. "But _still_!" Daichi tried to continue.

"I knew we were meant to be! I just knew it!" Setsuko stood up with a huge grin on his face. "I swear on the souls of my ancestors! I will find a way to woo Miss Shampoo and make her mine!" He declared.

"That is so gross." Iikiba said.

_MEANWHILE_

"I'll take it out. Really, it's no trouble." Mascara laughed as she tugged on the bowl of ice cream that Shampoo had told them to take to Jatsuma's table.

"No. That's fine. I wouldn't want you overworked." Luffa tugged back.

Lotion rolled her eyes and looked out the pickup window. She didn't see the boys so she stuck her head out to look around. They were in the back corner with a fourth person and after a moment she realized who it was. "Setsuko!" She said angrily. "What's _he_ doing here?"

"You just want to take Jatsuma for yourself!" Luffa shouted, pulling on the ice cream bowl much more violently.

"OH! And you weren't when you took him his food?" Mascara spat.

"I'll take it out." Lotion snatched the bowl from them and walked out the door to the restaurant, leaving them stunned. She seemed to have come out right when Setsuko had finished shouting something, because a lot of people were looking at him with interest and he was standing up.

Lotion walked over and slammed the bowl down on the table, catching Setsuko off guard and causing him to jump about a foot in the air. The other boys flinched as well.

"Lo- Lotion!" Setsuko stuttered. "How- How very nice to see you!"

Lotion narrowed her eyes. "All paid, are you?"

"Oh… not yet." He said. Lotion held out her hand and Setsuko pulled out his wallet.

"Our ticket too." Jatsuma handed it to Lotion. Setsuko glared at him but paid for both. Lotion counted the money up in her hand to make sure she had the right amount. "Alright then."

The next thing Setsuko knew he was laying face down on the pavement outside the Café, his bowl of ice cream splattered over the top of his head. "AND STAY OUT!" Lotion shouted before turning and marching back into the restaurant.

"That was awesome!" Jatsuma said. The three of them had followed Lotion outside to watch. Daichi didn't bother to keep the satisfied smile off his face.

Setsuko sat up angrily, ice cream running down his face. "Have your laugh for now! One day I'll show you all! You'll see! You'll-"

"IIKIBA!" Without warning, Setsuko was knocked to the ground as he was run over by Daichi and Jatsuma's younger sister Makoto, her red ponytail flying behind her.

"OH-NO!" Iikiba tried to make a break for it but she was already too close. Makoto grabbed him in a rib breaking hug.

"I was looking everywhere for you! Don't worry me like that! What if you'd run off and got stuck on a plane again?" She said.

"Gah! Let me go, Makoto! I can't breath!" Iikiba gasped for air.

Jatsuma check his watch. "Wow. Three hours. That must be some kind of record. You've never been able to avoid Makoto this long before."

"Shut up!" Iikiba snapped.

Makoto grabbed the back of Iikiba's shirt. "Come on! You've got to do your homework tonight so we can go shopping tomorrow. You need some new socks. And I wanted to pick up some groceries on the way to your apartment! You're low on milk." She dragged him along, Iikiba flying behind her.

"You kids have fun now!" Jatsuma shouted after them.

"I hate you!" Iikiba yelled back as they disappeared down a side street.

Daichi and Jatsuma laughed for a minute after that. "C- Come on. We should get home too. Mom and Dad will wonder where we are." Daichi said.

As they went on their way, Setsuko managed pick himself up, shaking with fury. "You'll pay for this." He sneered. Then his back cricked painfully. "Once a I heal."

_SOME TIME LATER_

"What do you want? Beans or squash? Which is better stir-fried?" Makoto asked Iikiba as she looked over the two vegetables in front of her.

"How about 'I don't give a damn'?" Iikiba huffed.

Makoto narrowed her eyes. "You could at least _try_ to be helpful. Fine, squash it is." She picked up the yellow squash and put it in her plastic shopping bag.

"No way! I hate squash!" Iikiba protested.

"Too late! You should have just said beans!" Makoto walked ahead, pulling on Iikiba's sleeve.

Iikiba huffed. "You should have just _said_ beans. Muh-muh-muh." He muttered a bad imitation of Makoto. At which point she pinched his arm. "Ow!"

After checking out, Makoto checked her watch and realized that it was nearly four o'clock. "Wow, I didn't realize how much time we had! Saturdays are nice aren't they?" She asked as she dragged Iikiba long the pavement. Iikiba grumbled.

Several minutes later they were walking along a residential street, getting closer to Friendly Groves Apartment Complex where Iikiba lived in a small apartment with his father, Ryoga, and his younger sister, Yuri. But Makoto suddenly stopped outside the gate to one of the houses. "Iikiba, look at this!"

Despite himself, Iikiba looked up to see a humongous manor. He'd been by here many times but had never given it much thought. No one had ever lived there as far as he knew. But it looked like someone was moving in now. There were men in blue uniforms carrying boxes and furniture from a moving van into the house.

"Who do you think is moving in?" He asked, standing up to get a better look.

"Probably someone really rich. That house has been empty for years. I thought it might have been condemned." Makoto said, her voice filled with curiosity.

"Apparently it's not." Iikiba said as he watched five movers carry in a huge TV. It was about then that he realized Makoto's grip on his shirt had become lax; he could pull away if he wanted to. Iikiba grinned. "Well Makoto, I hope this little stop was worth it."

"What do you-" Makoto began, but right at that moment Iikiba pulled away and started running. "IIKIBA! GET BACK HERE!" She shouted furiously, stomping her foot in frustration. She'd had enough of chasing him for one day.

Iikiba turned around to make a rude face at her, but never got to because at that moment he was run over and plowed into the street. It took him a few seconds to realize it was a motorcycle. A large, silver trimmed, motorcycle with a rider wearing washed jeans and a leather jacket. His helmet had the same silver trim as the motorcycle. "HEY!" Iikiba yelled at him, picking his brushed face out of the pavement. He was shaking with anger.

The motorcycle rider turned his machine to the side so that it was now moving forward sideways with the tires screeching, leaving marks and on the pavement. He was heading straight towards Makoto and would hit her any second. Iikiba's mouth dropped. "Makoto! MOVE YOU IDIOT!"

But he need not have yelled because the motorcycle came to a halt one foot short of hitting her. Makoto glared and moved one of her feet back slightly and held her hands in fists so that she had her guard up; ready to use martial arts at any moment. The motorcycle man rested a foot on the ground to steady himself.

"Are you crazy? Do you see what you did?" Makoto snapped angrily.

With a swift movement the motorcycle man removed his helmet to reveal a handsome face with a strong forehead and ruffled brown hair. He couldn't have been more than a few years older than them. He scratched his head and blinked. "Very sorry, Miss. I didn't see you right away. I didn't scare you did I?"

Makoto blinked. "No, of course not. But you should be more careful!"

He got off his motorcycle and bowed slightly, taking Makoto off guard. "Terribly, terribly sorry. I don't know how I couldn't have seen you right away. Someone as eye catching as you… I hope you can forgive me."

Makoto smiled and blushed pink. "Oh… no harm done, really! I didn't mean to make you feel so bad! I'm Makoto." She held out her hand for him to shake it.

"Call me Franklin." Instead of shaking her hand, he kissed it. Makoto's eyes grew wide.

"What the- HEY! STEP OFF!" Iikiba shouted, stomping towards them angrily, one eye twitching. "Who the hell do you think you are? King of Siam?"

Franklin looked back, confused. "Iikiba, be nice." Makoto intervened with an annoyed voice, thought she did look rather pleased.

"Don't tell me to be nice! This jerk just-just plowed me over like road kill!" Iikiba spat.

"Was that you? Sorry, I thought I had hit a speed bump. Hope you can forgive my recklessness." Franklin thumped Iikiba on the back like they were old friends. Iikiba did not look amused.

"Of course he can! Right, Iikiba?" Makoto shot him a nasty look.

Iikiba's mouth dropped. "But-but-"

"Tell you what? I'm new in town and I could really use someone to show me around. Interested? It pays well." Franklin said with a smile.

"Like HELL I am!" Iikiba snapped.

"IIKIBA!" Makoto pushed him away, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry! He gets like this sometimes."

"It's okay." Franklin said, getting back on his motorcycle. "Just take care of yourself, Makoto. A girl like you deserves to be treated like a lady. Your friend should really treat you better."

Makoto blushed pink again as he took her hand and kissed it a second time. The motorcycle engine revved up right as Iikiba yelled a few choice words and Franklin speed off down the road. "Aloha!" He shouted back, waving as he disappeared around a bend.

"Aloha?" Makoto repeated with an eyebrow raised.

Iikiba snorted and walked back over to her, glaring. "So…"

"What?" She asked indignantly, picking up the groceries she had set down to look at the mansion. "You aren't jealous are you?" She asked with a sly smile.

"Pffh! You wish!" Iikiba snapped, turning his gaze determinedly away. "But it's not like you were putting up much of a fight, was it? It's not that I'm jealous! It's just that a guy like that is only after one thing! You didn't even tell him that I was your boyfriend! Not that I am! It's just something _you_ would say!"

Makoto grinned widely, her eyes shining with happiness, and grabbed his arm. "Come on, let's get you home!" With a heave, she was dragging him along the ground again. She was in such a good mood she decided she wouldn't even make him eat the squash.


	4. I Think I'm a Clone Now

Everyone who reviews gets a cookie! Whoo! Just send me your full name, mailing address, telephone number, a copy of your birth certificate, your parents' names, the school you attend, your school's mailing address, your social security number, bank account number, your mother's maiden name, a written essay no shorter than three pages but not long than five detailing why you should have a cookie, and your soul. (Okay, you don't really get anything for reviewing…except my wisecracks.)

**I THINK I'M A CLONE NOW**

A dark cloud was spreading across the sky long before sunset, signaling the sign of something ominous in the air. Ranma tapped his leg impatiently, glaring up at the sky. He was sitting out on the back deck wondering about what Kuno had said earlier. It didn't bode well. Had Kuno finally gone mad or was there some other explanation?

He cringed as a raindrop landed on his face, then another. Then the whole sky broke loose and poured down on him. The now female Ranma sputtered and moved further back under the protection of the porch cover. "Geez, stupid rain. Where are those kids anyway?" Ranma grumbled as she rung out her pigtail.

Right at that moment a bolt of lightening struck nearby, lighting up the backyard with a blinding flash. Ranma blinked and a dark figure appeared before her, silhouetted against the light, holding a knife high above their head. "YAAHH!" Ranma was so startled she punched the figure in the face, sending him flying across the yard into the mud.

Ranma stood there panting for a moment. "Who- Who are you?" She shouted. When there was no response she ran out to see for herself. When she got closer her eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped. Daichi was laying face down in the mud. "AH! DAICHI! ARE YOU OKAY?" Ranma turned him over, spirals appearing in Daichi's eyes.

But after a moment the boy shook his head and blinked up at his father. "Dad? What was that for?" He moaned, rubbing his head as he sat up.

"Sorry, I didn't recognize you. You snuck up on me there!" Ranma helped him to his feet.

"Yes, I suppose I did, almost as though I were trying to catch you off guard." Daichi laughed and started to walk towards the house. Ranma watched him for a few seconds before following, his smile twitching at the corners.

"Daichi, you weren't uh… holding something a moment ago?" Ranma asked.

"Holding something? Like what?" Daichi asked, confused.

"Uh… nothing. Forget about it!" Ranma waved his hand passively. Daichi shrugged and continued towards the house.

_Did I imagine it?_ Ranma thought. _Maybe I'm just being paranoid. This is my own son after all._ But the hair on the back of her neck was still standing on end.

Once inside, Daichi looked around the dining room and then in the hallway. And he jumped slightly when Akane stuck her head out of the kitchen. "Hi, Daichi! How was school? Dinner should be ready soon."

Genma and Soun, who had been walking down the stairs at that moment, took one look at each other and quickly retreated back up.

"School was fine. And dinner sounds great, Mom." Daichi said with a smile and no hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Akane blinked in surprise and smiled. "You really think so? Thank you, honey!" Akane grabbed him in a tight hug, which he didn't return because he was being squeezed too hard. After a few seconds Akane's face fell and she stepped back. "Daichi, are you… are you feeling alright?"

"I've never been better!" He said, swinging his arm up. "Why? How come?"

"It's just… nothing I guess." She answered slowly.

Ranma gave Daichi a scrutinizing look. There was something very wrong here. "So Daichi, where's Jatsuma?"

"Huh?" Daichi looked confused, but quickly recovered. "Oh, he should be along any minute. He wanted to talk to some girl."

"Well I'm glad to hear things are getting back to normal for him at school." Akane said, stepping back into the kitchen. "But he better get here soon, it's raining for heaven's sake. And if Makoto's not back soon we'll need to call Ryoga and see if she's there."

"Sure thing, Mom." Daichi said before turning back to Ranma, who jumped with a start. "Well, I got homework to get to. See you in a bit Dad." He smiled at Ranma much longer than she thought necessary then turned to go upstairs, not taking his gaze away until he was on the second landing.

Ranma sighed loudly. "I really am getting paranoid." She said, scratching her head. Then she made her way to the bathroom, pulling off her clothes in the laundry room that connected to the large downstairs bathroom.

After running some hot water she sat down in the tub, becoming a he once again. Ranma slipped down into the water so that only his nose and eyes were visible. The warm water was relaxing and he was quickly put in a daze. Steam was filling the bathroom but Ranma didn't feel like moving to turning to water off quite yet.

_This Kuno thing's got me crazy! I wonder how many people he's already invited to that fake wedding? He'll just have to be left at the alter. I'm not even on the guest list._ He thought with a look of satisfaction. _That'd show that loon. I bet that picture of his kid was fake too._

He could have stayed like that for hours. But only a few minutes had passed when he heard a click and light tapping noises, like someone had opened the door and was tiptoeing across the room. Ranma sat up quickly and saw someone, but couldn't tell who it was because of the steam.

The figure jumped in surprise, realizing he had been caught, and held something square over his head like he were about to throw it. Ranma realized what it was almost immediately, a toaster!

"WHOA!" Ranma grabbed a bar of soap squeezed it. It slipped between his hands and shot at the assailant, hitting him right between the eyes. The figure fell over backwards and the toaster fell to the floor with a clang.

Ranma jumped out of the bath, angry as a bull. "WHAT THE HELL? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?" He shouted.

The person didn't answer but retreated through the open door, still trying to get their footing. "HEY!" Ranma charged after them, grabbing a bathrobe off the rack in the laundry room as he went by and pulling it on as he ran.

Unfortunately this slowed him down just enough. He made it into the hallway just in time to see the front door close shut. He ran forward and slammed it open. "GET BACK HERE!"

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Two voices screamed. Jatsuma and Daichi had only been three feet away when Ranma burst the door open and both look severely alarmed. Daichi had fallen to the ground and Jatsuma was holding his chest.

"GEEZ! Dad, are you trying to give us a freaking heart attack?" Jatsuma shouted. "What are you _doing_?"

"Did someone just come out here?" Ranma asked urgently, looking around.

"No, I didn't see anyone." Jatsuma said, annoyed. "Why? What's going on?" He slouched over slightly as Daichi grabbed his arm for support while standing up.

"Can we as least get in out of the rain?" Daichi complained. "I'm wet enough already."

Ranma blinked. "Daichi, what are you doing back outside again?"

Daichi looked confused. "Well it's easier than tunneling everywhere."

"No! I mean, why did you go outside again if it's raining? Weren't you upstairs doing your homework?" Ranma asked, exasperated.

"Dad, if I had already been inside I would have stayed inside! Where it's DRY!" Daichi sputtered angrily. He and Jatsuma were thoroughly soaked by now. Ranma stood aside and the boys sloshed into the house, tugging off their wet shoes and socks at the door.

"So…you haven't been home at all yet?" Ranma asked slowly.

"No." Daichi said again.

"But! But you were here! I saw you in the back yard! And…" Ranma paused, his sons staring at him.

"Dad, are you okay?" Jatsuma asked with his eyes narrowed. "You're all jittery."

"Listen," Ranma lowered his voice and leaned in. Daichi and Jatsuma did likewise. "There's something very strange going on here. In the backyard I thought I saw someone with a knife standing over me, but it just was Daichi." Daichi's mouth opened and Jatsuma's eyes grew wide. "Then I was taking a bath and someone came in and nearly threw a toaster in the bathtub. I chased them outside and ran into you two and you told me you haven't been home yet. So I'm starting to think this Daichi isn't our Daichi but another Daichi! And he's trying to kill me!" He hissed in a low voice.

Daichi and Jatsuma looked astonished. They turned to look at each other for a second. "Wow, Dad." Jatsuma said, breathless. "So you've finally gone over the deep end, huh?"

"I'm telling you what happened!" Ranma said angrily. "Come in the bathroom and look at the toaster if you don't believe me! The Daichi clone dropped it!"

But when they went to the bathroom, there was nothing but water on the floor. The bath water was still running and the toaster was gone. Ranma's jaw dropped. "It was here! I know I saw-! He must have come back for it!"

Jatsuma sighed and rolled his eyes. "Come on! Do you honestly believe there's a clone of Daichi running around, trying to murder you? Do you know how ridicules that sounds?"

"YES! But it's the truth!" Ranma spat.

"I think you're finally going senile." Jatsuma mumbled.

"And I think you're asking to be grounded for a month!" Ranma threatened.

"Hey…" Daichi said slowly, speaking for the first time in a while. He was now remembering that he saw that woman who looked just like Ranma in girl form. With all the confusion going on earlier he had forgotten. "I don't know if it has anything to do with this…but it can't just be coincidence…"

"Hmh? What is?" Jatsuma asked, he and Ranma looking at him curiously.

"DINNER TIME!" Akane's voice rang through the house.

"WE'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE!" Ranma called back.

"NOW!" Akane yelled back with such ferocity that they were all running for the dinning room, including Soun and Genma who were falling down the stairs in their hurry.

Minutes later they were all in the dinning room, sitting around the table, waiting to see what concoction awaited them tonight. Akane came in carrying a large platter with different types of seafood covered in a red sauce. She looked completely happy as she sat down next to Ranma and set the platter in the middle of the table. "Well? Dig in!" She said.

Everyone stared at it and gave in to the inevitable. Daichi and Jatsuma were the first to take some; they had been raised on this kind of stuff and could stomach it more than most people. Genma and Soun soon followed, tears streaming down their faces. Ranma just looked at it suspiciously, then he noticed Akane was staring at him.

"What?" Ranma asked.

"You're not eating." Akane said, her smile twitching slightly.

Ranma smiled nervously. "I'm not all that hungry."

"But…I made it just for you." She said with quiver in her voice. Then she picked up a piece with her chopsticks and held up to his face. "Say ah!" She said happily.

Okay, now Ranma was thoroughly weirded out. Akane wasn't acting like herself at all. He narrowed his eyes. "Akane, what the heck-" But he didn't finish his sentence because she stuck the shrimp in his mouth with a violent shove, hitting the back of his throat with the chopsticks. "GAHHH!" Ranma gagged and sputtered, holding his neck as the shrimp went down.

Akane smiled sweetly. "What do you think?"

"I think you're crazy!" Ranma snapped, breathing heavily once his windpipe was free.

Suddenly there was a lot of gagging a sputtering around the table as Daichi, Jatsuma, Soun and Genma slumped forward and across the floor, twitching slightly but stiff. "P-p-paralysis p-p-powder!" Genma stuttered.

Ranma gasped and tried to stand up but found he couldn't move either, his muscles were seizing up. Akane stood up with a curved grin on her face and glare in her eye. "Now I have you right where I want you, Ranma Saotome!"

"What?" Ranma gritted his teeth as he struggled not to fall over. "You! You're not Akane!"

"Clever observation, but far too late I'm afraid!" She cackled. Then she picked up the large tray off the table, food flying everywhere, and smacked it down on Ranma's head.

"OW!" Ranma fell to the floor, unable to move or fight back.

The imposter held up the tray for another attack. "I'll teach you to mess with my happiness!" And she smacked him again.

"OW! GEEZ! WHAT'D I EVER DO TO YOU?" Ranma shouted, his blood boiling.

"You made my life a living hell!" She hit him again. "My whole youth! Spent in agony! I won't let you destroy what I have accomplished!"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" Ranma spat.

"I don't suppose you do! But what does it matter?" She held up the tray again, but a hand caught her wrist from behind. She looked back in horror to see the real Akane holding her back. Akane had ripped robes hanging loosely around her arms and legs and she was huffing like an angry buffalo, her red face contorted in fury. "eh?" The fake Akane squeaked.

Akane heaved and threw the imposter, knocking down the sliding doors to the backyard as the imposter rammed into them and landed in the mud outside, rain pouring around her. "THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO TIE ME UP, THROW ME IN A CLOSET, PARALIZE MY FAMILY AND ATTACK MY HUSBAND!" Akane roared.

Ranma smiled. Akane could hold the imposter off until he could move again! "Akane!"

Akane looked around with concern. "Daichi! Jatsuma!" She hugged her two, still paralyzed, sons tightly. "Oh my god! Are you two okay?" She cried as they gagged. "M-Mom!" Jatsuma wheezed.

"Hey! I'm the one who's hurt!" Ranma complained, pointing to the bumps on his head.

"I- I think it's starting to wear off!" Soun said, moving his hand slightly. Genma smiled, "Yes! I can feel my strength returning now!"

"I'll teach you to mess with my happiness!" The imposter stood up in the yard. She was quivering and covered with mug. But she no longer looked like Akane. Instead, she had red pigtail and cherry blossom kimono.

Daichi gasped. "You! I saw you earlier today!" He pointed towards her.

"Yes, I was afraid I had blown my cover!" The Ranma-look-alike said spitefully. "But now, it's too late for you, Ranma!" The girl lunged forward, but Ranma had already started to regain some of his mobility and he kicked up his foot and sent her flying over him into the corner of the room where she landed upside down.

"Damn you!" The imposter cursed.

"Get her!" Genma, Soun and Ranma lunged at the imposter and quickly tied her up so she couldn't escape. The girl cursed and fought but moments later was sitting in the corner of the room with ropes tied around her.

"You'll pay for this! Unhand me!" She spat, trying to bite at Ranma's hand.

"Mom, you can let us go now." Jatsuma said grumpily. Akane was still holding both of them tightly, not wanting to let them go anytime soon. "Oh…right." She reluctantly released them.

"What were you saying before, Daichi?" Ranma asked.

"I saw her earlier!" Daichi repeated. "Near the waterway! I thought she was you at first!"

Ranma glared at her. "So that's why you disguised yourself as Daichi first! Because you knew what he looked like! So what's your grudge against me anyway?"

"Hmph. Why should I owe YOU an explanation?" She huffed angrily, sticking her nose up.

That was when it struck him and Ranma's face fell. "You… You're the one who's married to Kuno!" He shouted.

The Pigtailed Girl looked horrified. "You leave Kunokins out of this!" She snapped ferociously. Everyone stared at her in utter dismay with their mouths hanging open.

Jatsuma scratched his head irritably. "I think we're a little behind the times. Who's this Kuno person?"

"Only the most handsome man in the world!" The Pigtailed Girl shouted. "That he would dote on one such as you, Ranma, is beyond me!"

Daichi and Jatsuma's mouths fell open and they stared at their father. "It's not how it sounds!" Ranma shouted in annoyance. "That idiot Kuno was in love with my girl form! And no matter how many times we tried to show him the truth, he was too dense to get it!"

"Don't you talk about my Kunokins that way!" The Pigtailed Girl kicked his shin.

"AH!" Ranma gritted his teeth. "Listen you! You better start explaining yourself! Why do you look like me? Why are you trying to kill me? And why are you married to Kuno?"

The Pigtailed Girl glared at him. "Why? WHY? All of this is your fault Ranma! You see, when I was a young girl I fell in love with the brave and noble Tatewaki Kuno. He was a man among men! A pillar in the grave of despair!"

"What does that even mean?" Jatsuma whispered to Daichi, who shushed him.

"I loved him with all my heart, but was too shy to let my feeling show." She continued sadly. "When I finally gathered enough courage to confront him, my love was spurned!"

_TWENTY-FOUR YEARS EARLIER_

A shy looking young girl held out a box of chocolates and a love letter to a seventeen year old Kuno, her red face staring at the ground. "Please, Upperclassman Kuno, accept my gifts and… date with me?" She half whispered.

Kuno looked noble and forlorn. He clinched his fist and held it up in determination. "I am truly sorry. But I can not accept your gifts."

"W- What?" The girl's head snapped up and her gifts slipped from her hands and fell to the ground.

"You see my heart belongs to another." Kuno said dramatically. "The lovely Pigtailed Girl!"

_PRESENT DAY_

"He said he only had eyes for the Pigtailed Girl! I was heartbroken!" She spat angrily. "So I turned to the Terono School of Martial Arts for help!"

Soun gasped loudly. "Of course! Terono School! They're famous for their chameleon technique!"

"Chameleon technique?" Akane asked.

"The chameleon technique is something only the most dedicated students can learn." Genma said seriously. "It allows anyone who masters it to change their appearance at will, taking on other forms."

"What?" Jatsuma asked, breathless. "No way!" Daichi exclaimed.

"What are you saying, Pops!" Ranma said angrily. "How come I never heard of it?"

"Yes! Chameleon technique requires a great amount of discipline!" Genma continued. "A chameleon disciple must carry vast amounts of make-up and clothing hidden on their person at all times so as to be prepared for any situation, should it arise!" He said with admiration. "That's one of the reasons I never mastered it myself."

Everyone fell over in dismay. "So basically they just change their clothes really fast?" Ranma asked in annoyance.

"Yes." Genma nodded.

The imposter Pigtailed Girl was grinding her teeth. "Do you want to hear my story or don't you?" She snapped.

"Please, continue." Soun said.

"After years of training I was finally able to master the Chameleon technique!" She continued. "After that, I took on the guise of the Pigtailed Girl! This was shortly after your wedding to Akane, Ranma, and my poor Kunokins was leaving to live in Hawaii. I couldn't stand it! I had to go after him! If only to have him hold me or kiss me just once! Then I could be happy! So I took a boat and followed him across the Pacific Ocean!" She paused, smiling. "I met him on the shore and we ran into each other's arms. I had never been so very happy. Then…he proposed right there. How could I say no?"

"I'll tell ya a few ways!" Ranma growled, clinching his fist.

"That's…so…beautiful!" Genma sobbed. Soun wiped his tearing eyes with a tissue. "WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON?" Ranma snapped.

"So you just married him? And he _still_ thinks you're Ranma?" Akane asked, astonished.

"Yes." The Pigtailed Girl said. "We could have lived out our days happily in Hawaii. But… Kunokins decided he wanted to come back to Japan. And as long as Ranma lives my disguise is in jeopardy!"

Right then there was a loud knock coming from the front door. "Akane Tendo! I have come to make amends with your husband! I brought him a new invitation!"

"AHHH!" The Pigtailed Girl hopped up (her legs weren't tied). "Kunokins! I can't let him find me here! He might draw the wrong conclusion!" She made a dash for the yard.

"You're not going anywhere!" Ranma snapped, grabbing the back of her ropes. "You're staying right here and telling Kuno the truth!"

"Smoke screen!" An explosion of smoke flew from the Pigtailed Girl, cloaking the dinning room.

"Whoa!" Ranma fell backwards from the force of the blast and landed on the table, a pitcher of ice tea falling on his head.

"What is going on here?" Kuno stuck his head in the dinning room. Apparently he had let himself in. Then he gasped. "Pigtailed Girl! What are you doing here?"

"HA!" Ranma stood up as the smoke cleared. "Busted!" He shouted triumphantly. But then he noticed the imposter Pigtailed Girl was nowhere to be seen.

"She escaped!" Jatsuma shouted. "With a smoke screen! That was awesome!"

"Or deranged." Daichi said.

"Let's go with deranged." Ranma snapped in annoyance right before Kuno caught her in a hug. "GAH!"

"My dear wife! What are you doing here at the house of Ranma Saotome?" Kuno asked. "Oh! I understand! You came to visit your old friend Akane! But you didn't have to come alone! I would have accompanied you!"

"Would you back off!" Ranma tried to push him away.

"Man," Jatsuma scratched his head, smirking. "You hear about this sort of thing on television, but you never think it could happen to you. Our own father…"

"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Ranma said irritably, finally pushing Kuno away.

Kuno gasped. "Dear Akane! Are these your boys?" He rounded on Daichi and Jatsuma who recoiled.

"Yeah, that's Daichi and Jatsuma." Akane answered.

"They're precious!" Kuno pinched Daichi's cheek as though he were a two year old. "But I have not come for a mere visit! I have come to reconcile with Ranma! Perhaps I was too rash in uninviting him. I would not want to deny him the pleasure of attending our wedding!" Kuno put his arm around Ranma's shoulders, a giddy smile on his face.

Ranma glared and punched him. "Wouldn't want _that_!" She shouted sarcastically.

"In fact, you should all come!" Kuno pulled out some extra invitations and passed them out to Daichi, Jatsuma, Soun and Genma.

"We also have a sister." Jatsuma said. Kuno handed him a second invitation. "And she never goes anywhere without her boyfriend." Kuno handed him a third. "And he has family too-"

"Don't encourage him!" Ranma shouted.

Kuno laughed. "Ha ha! Of course! Why should we deny them?" He stuffed a handful of invitations into Jatsuma's hands.

Meanwhile on the roof, the imposter Pigtailed Girl was hanging upside down off the side of the roof and looking into the room. _Damn you Ranma! You're already ruining everything! _She thought angrily.


	5. True Love Conquers All

Sorry the chapter is a little late. I'd like to say that I was really busy so I couldn't post it before now. But I can't. I'm just plain lazy. And I was tying to think of something creative to write for the author's notes. Hmmmmm…

**TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL**

"Man! I miss everything cool that goes on around here!" Makoto said the next morning after being told the whole story from last night. She and Akane were sitting at the dinning room table peeling potatoes.

"It's not cool, Makoto." Akane sighed. "Your father's in danger, remember?"

"Well yeah… but she's not very good at killing him is she?" Makoto said as she looked out the backyard.

The Pigtailed Girl ran by followed by a second Pigtailed Girl. It was easy to guess which was which because the fist one was crying as she ran and the other one was chasing her with a baseball bat. "I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT OF HERE!" Ranma shouted angrily, taking a swing with the bat.

"You would hit a girl? You're so cruel!" The Pigtailed Girl cried, jumping out of the way.

"YOU ATTACKED ME SEVENTEEN TIMES LAST NIGHT!" Ranma spat. "I'M NOT EXACTLY FEELING GRACIOUS! GET BACK HERE!"

"EEK!" She bounded away, Ranma in hot pursuit.

Akane sighed in exasperation, allowing a potato peel to fall in the bucket sitting next to her. "She keeps taking on different forms and sneaking back into the house. How are we supposed to deal with this if we can't even recognize her half the time?"

"I don't know. But we better figure it out soon before Dad destroys the whole house." Makoto answered.

It was then that Daichi walked into the dinning room, followed by a disheveled Jatsuma who was still wearing his pajamas. "Are they STILL fighting? Doesn't she get tired? I was up half the night because of them…" Jatsuma yawned, holding a hand up to his mouth and stretching.

"Do you think we should call the police?" Daichi asked, watching Ranma chase the Pigtailed Girl by again.

"They don't take our calls anymore." Akane sighed. "Besides, I think Ranma is taking this as a personal challenge. I just hope he doesn't get carried away."

Ding-dong! The sound of the doorbell rang cheerfully through the house. "I'll get it." Makoto stood up and walked out of the room.

"If it's anyone in our family that's supposedly already at home, don't let them in!" Jatsuma shouted after her.

When Makoto opened the door she was surprised to have a large bouquet of daffodils shoved into her arms. "Wha-?" She couldn't see who was there through the flowers.

"Good morning Ms. Makoto!" A cheerful voice greeted her.

"Franklin?" Makoto moved the flowers out of the way, though they were still poking her in the face. "What the heck you doing here? How did you know where I lived?"

Franklin smiled in shy sort of way. "Well I… did a web search for all the high schools in the district and found the one that had your uniforms. Then I went to the library and checked out a yearbook from that school, then once I had your last name, Saotome, I looked your address up in a phone book."

Makoto's smile twitched uneasily. "Oh. That's…clever." She cringed. "But you really shouldn't have brought me flowers."

"You prefer candy?" He asked with a slight panic in his voice.

"NO! Listen Franklin," Makoto started to say, but was interrupted.

"Hey Makoto! Who's at the door? What's all that?" Jatsuma shouted as he walked down the hall and noticed the flowers.

Makoto heaved the bouquet and pushed it into Jatsuma's hands. "Hey!" Jatsuma looked at the flowers. "Uh…thanks?"

"Hello!" Franklin greeted him, waving. "I gave Makoto those flowers."

Jatsuma blinked. "Did you, now?" He turned his gaze to Makoto, smirking. "Well, well, well."

"I'm handling it!" Makoto snapped, face red. "Would you get out of here?" She tried to push him down the hall, his feet scraping against the wood floor.

"What's taking so long?" Daichi stepped out into the hall. "The Pigtailed Girl didn't abduct someone did she?"

"NO! JUST LEAVE!" Makoto pushed him along as well.

"It is very nice to meet you, Mr. Tendo, Mr. Saotome." Franklin's voice said. Makoto whirled around to see her grandfathers shaking Franklin's hands. Her neck cricked.

Soun smiled. "What a polite boy! It's nice to meet you too…um…"

"Franklin." He introduced himself.

"Franklin." Soun agreed.

"Are you a friend of one of our grandchildren?" Genma asked.

Franklin blushed. "I'm actually here to court Ms. Makoto."

Genma and Soun's faces fell and they blinked. Then they turned to look at Makoto.

Makoto's whole face was red. Jatsuma was laughing like hyena, even Daichi was snorting through the hand held over his mouth. Her fist was shaking in anger as she held it up. "Don't… Don't say such embarrassing things to my grandparents!" She hissed.

"But… I can't hide my feelings!" Franklin declared.

Genma folded his arms. "What do you mean, Makoto? We're still hip! Believe it or not we've been in our share of relationships. I just thought was were dating that Iikiba."

"Who's Iikiba?" Franklin asked curiously. "Not that guy from yesterday?"

"LEAVE!" Makoto shoved Soun and Genma aside and turned to Franklin, trying to calm down. "Look Franklin! You're very nice and all but I can't date you!"

"Don't be silly! I won't take no for an answer! I'll pick you up tomorrow at four o'clock sharp! Formal wear, alright?" Franklin said as he turned to walk down the pathway to the street.

"What? NO! Franklin, you're not listening! I have a boyfriend! FRANKLIN!" Makoto shouted after him as he zoomed away on his motorcycle. "GOD DAMN IT!"

"Oooooh." Jatsuma called in a mocking voice. "Makoto's cheat-ten!"

"SHUT UP! I am not!" Makoto snapped.

"You're gonna break poor Iikiba's widdle heart!" Jatsuma persisted, whipping a fake tear from his eye.

"Jatsuma…" Daichi sighed in exasperation, holding a hand to his head.

"What? I'm just kidding!"

"OH! Is that so?" Makoto growled, snatching the daffodil bouquet from him. Out of instinct, Jatsuma ran. "Come back Jatsuma! I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU!" Makoto took off after him.

"Ah. The energy of youth." Soun said happily.

"Yeah…" Daichi said slowly. "But what was that guy's deal? And what kind of name is _Franklin_?" He folded his arms. "He didn't look English…"

_MEANWHILE AT THE HIBIKI APARTMENT_

Ryoga scratched his messy hair and yawned loudly as he sat down at the table, since it was Sunday he could sleep in for once. Ted, the foreman of the construction company Ryoga worked for, always liked to get an early start. Ryoga poured some milk over his cereal and dipped his spoon into his, rubbing his eyes with his other hand. Then he grabbed the remote and switched on the small TV on a stand in the corner of the room.

"DAMN IT YURI! I'M IN THE BATHROOM! WAIT YOUR TURN!" Iikiba's voice screeched from the hallway. They were close enough that Ryoga could turn and see Yuri outside the bathroom door.

"Yuri! Leave your brother alone!" Ryoga shouted, trying to be parental. For that he got a cold shiver down his spine that caused him to tip his cereal bowl. Ryoga grumbled as he went to grab a paper towel, it was too early for this.

As he was wiping up the split milk and cereal bits he noticed something on the television. There was a female reporter standing in front of a large stone church, apparently in the mountains since pine trees surrounded it. The church looked old but very elegant with stain glass windows depicting cherubs and flowers. A priest had just stepped into view to be interviewed.

Ryoga grabbed the remote and turned up the volume. "So how many people do you estimate will attend the Kuno wedding?" The reporter asked cheerfully.

"Oh, I'd say a thousand at least! It's going to be standing room only!" The priest said with a laugh. "But we do have a few fold out chairs… maybe people can use those."

"Fascinating." The reporter commented.

"Kuno?" Ryoga blinked. "Can it be the same guy?"

Just then there was a knock at the front door. It was so eerily convenient that Ryoga almost jumped. Then he came to his senses and realized it must be Makoto. "Iikiba! Makoto's here!" He called down the hall.

"Tell her I'm not here!" Iikiba shouted back.

Ryoga sighed in exasperation as he went to the front door; the knocking was starting to grow louder. "Geez, coming!" He said right before opening the door.

"My dear old friend, Ryoga Hibiki!" Kuno shouted with excitement. Ryoga really did jump back with surprise this time. Kuno had lunged forward and grabbed his wrist in a strong hand shake. "So good to see you!"

"K- Kuno?" Ryoga stuttered, bewildered. "How did-? What are you doing here?"

"Could I return to Japan and not visit my old companion?" Kuno grabbed Ryoga's head in a headlock and gave him a noogie, grinding his fist down on Ryoga's skull. "GAH!" Ryoga struggled to pull away, flailing around like a fish.

"Ah! I remember our antics well! How we used to work together to break up Ranma and Akane! Such fond memories!" Kuno laughed. "But I am not merely here to reminisce!" He released Ryoga and pulled an invitation from his pocket in one fluid motion, holding it in front of Ryoga's face. "You are hereby invited to my wedding renewal!"

"What?" Ryoga asked, still frazzled. Then he took the invitation. "You're getting married?"

"Re-married!" Kuno corrected him. "To my dear wife of eighteen years! It will be an occasion to remember!"

"You're going to a wedding, Father?" Yuri came into the room. She had decided to leave Iikiba alone for the time being and investigate what Ryoga was doing.

Kuno gasped. "Is this your daughter, Ryoga? She's lovely!" He patted her on top of the head. Yuri narrowed her eyes and sent a cold shiver in their direction.

"AAH!" Kuno jumped back as the aura hit him and ran down his spine. He shifted his shaking feet, as though he were fighting the urge to run. "Her- Her beauty gives me chills!" He gabbed his arms, shivering as though he were cold, and his face turned blue.

"Yuri! Don't do that!" Ryoga shouted, his teeth chattering as the horrible shiver in his spine subsided. Yuri shrugged and Ryoga sighed in exasperation.

"But I digress!" Kuno held up a finger. "The address and time are on the invitation, and I must depart! There's so much yet undone!" He turned and skipped away.

Ryoga watched him go for a second. "…Guess I'm going to a wedding." He looked at the invitation.

"I would be rude to refuse." Yuri commented. "But then, I noticed he didn't offer _me_ an invitation." She huffed.

Ryoga wasn't listening anymore. He was staring at the invitation with pupils the size of a pinprick. In bold fancy lettering it read, '_You are invited to the wedding renewal of the perfect couple! Tatewaki Kuno and the Pigtailed Girl!'_

"Pigtailed Girl?" Ryoga gasped, his mouth hanging open like a bullfrog. "He's marring RANMA?"

_SOON AFTER, AT THE CAT CAFÉ_

"Greetings!" Kuno jumped through the entrance to the Cat Café, bringing all motion in the restaurant to a halt as everyone looked up to see what was going on. "Where are the owners of this establishment? I must meet with them immediately!"

"What do you need, Sir?" Shampoo came forward carrying some menus.

"What's all the ruckus about?" Cologne hopped out on her staff, looking irritated as she spotted Kuno. "Can we help you?" She asked irately.

Kuno blinked. "Of course you'll remember _me_!" He smirked with confidence. There was a moment of silence while Shampoo and Cologne stared at him before he continued. "I am none other than Tatewaki Kuno! A dear childhood friend of Shampoo and Mousse!"

"Ooh yeah." Cologne said as she began to recognize him. "I see it now."

Shampoo blinked and furrowed her brow. "We were friends?"

"Of course!" Kuno whipped out a pair of invitations from his coat pocket. "And you're both invited to my the renewal of my wedding vows!"

Shampoo and Cologne each snatched an invitation. "A wedding! That sounds fun!" Shampoo said happily, then she narrowed her eyes. "Though it might give Mousse funny ideas…"

Cologne looked at the invitation skeptically. "It's tomorrow? Why did you wait so long to send these out?"

"I didn't mean to give an invitation to _you_…" Kuno grunted.

At this point Luffa, Lotion and Mascara came over, curious about what was going on. They were all three wearing their waitress uniforms and Mascara was even still holding a tray with food on it. "Mom, what's going on?" Lotion asked.

"Are these your children?" Kuno asked enthusiastically.

"Two are, the twins." Shampoo answered, indicating Lotion and Luffa. "Mascara's living with us right now. Kids, this is… uh… Kuno." She was going to say Mr. Kuno but couldn't bring herself to do it.

"They must come to my wedding! They can meet my son!" He held up a hand next to his mouth to keep his voice from carrying. "He's a little shy." He pulled out the sunburned picture of his son and showed it to them.

Luffa physically gagged. Lotion glared at her sister and elbowed her in the ribs. "He looks nice." She said unsurely. Mascara's eye twitched and her mouth hang open.

"Doesn't he?" Kuno pushed three invitations into their hands. "I'll see you there of course."

"Of…course." Lotion answered slowly. Luffa and Mascara glared at her.

"The orders are starting to get backed up here!" Mousse yelled out from the kitchen. "Where are my waitresses?"

"Just one last order of business!" Kuno hopped toward the pickup window and shoved an invitation in front of Mousse's face. "You will come to be at my wedding I presume!"

Mousse blushed, put his hands over his red cheeks and grinned like an idiot. "Shampoo, you're… you're agreeing to marry me? _Finally_? After all these years?"

"What are you speaking of?" Kuno snapped.

"Do you have a cold, Shampoo?" Mousse asked. "You sound funny." He adjusted his glasses and blinked. "Hey! You're not Shampoo!"

"I told you. You need bifocals." Shampoo scoffed, her arms folded.

Kuno stuck the invitation in front of Mousse's face a second time. "Anyway, take this as a token of friendship." Mousse took the invitation and held it an inch from his nose while he adjusted his glasses.

Kuno turned around with a look of triumph. "Now I must be off! The hour of celebration is quickly drawing near! I must make sure all my old friends are there!" With that, Kuno ducked out of the restaurant.

"Odd guy." Cologne commented.

"What? Kuno is marrying a Pig?" Mousse shouted suddenly, holding his invitation a foot away, his glasses askew. "How horrifying!"

"Don't be ridiculous." Lotion looked at her own invitation. "It says he's marrying… the Pigtailed Girl?" She raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

Mousse dropped a bowl of ramen with a deafening crash and Shampoo's mouth fell open.

_A LITTLE WHILE LATER, AT THE OFFICE OF DR. TOFU_

"That should last you for the week Mr. Takagi." Dr. Tofu handed the middle-aged balding man a medicine bottle. "Just take one in the morning and one in the evening with food."

"You're an good man Dr. Tofu. This should help my aching back." The balding man answered kindly as he rose from his seat and started walking towards the door.

"It's my pleasure. Just remember to take it with food. Other than that, your back therapy should be-"

Right as Mr. Takagi had reached the front door and put his hand on the handle, the door swung back towards him, smacking him into the wall. "Kasumi Tendo!" Kuno shouted, as he leapt through the door. "I come bearing good tidings!"

"Mr. Takagi!" Dr. Tofu rushed forward to help the dazed man to his feet.

"Did someone call me?" A gentle voice asked as Kasumi stepped out from a back room. She was carrying a baby with big brown eyes. The little girl it was wearing a bunny rabbit suit and sucking her thumb.

"Ah, Kasumi Tendo. Do not think I have forgotten the one who always made us lunch on our youthful escapades!" Kuno said happily.

"Oh, hello Kuno. What brings you here? You moved to Hawaii didn't you?" Kasumi asked sweetly.

"My path has brought me back to Nerima." Kuno pulled out an invitation. "And I would be honored if you and your family attended the renewal of my wedding vows tomorrow!"

"That's so thoughtful of you." Kasumi took the invitation, holding the baby in her left arm.

"Oooaaah!" Mr. Takagi groaned as Dr. Tofu held him up. "My back!" He cringed.

"What has befallen you, good sir?" Kuno asked with concern.

"You did, you moron!" He snapped angrily, and then he doubled over in pain. "I'll…see… you… tomorrow… Dr. Tofu." He duck-stepped out of the office irritably.

Dr. Tofu sighed. "He was almost better too."

"Do not despair! Now is a time of happy celebration!" Kuno gave Dr. Tofu an invitation. "As the wedding draws nearer I can hardly contain my excitement! AH-hahahaha! I must fly! There are still more to invite!" Kuno took off yet again, leaving Kasumi, Tofu and baby Ai behind.

"Thank you for stopping by!" Kasumi called after him. "That was awfully thoughtful. After all these years, to think of me, even though we weren't very close." She took a better look at the invitation. Baby Ai cooed happily.

"That Mr. Takagi is no walk in the park either." Dr. Tofu sighed.

"I'm sure you'll manage. Mr. Takagi seems kind." Kasumi said. But then her expression fell and her eyes grew wide as she looked at the invitation. "Oh my."

_SOME TIME LATER IN OSAKA, JAPAN_

Ucc-Chan's beachfront restaurant was full of customers coming in for lunch. There was lively chatter around the counter when Ukyo twirled her spatulas. She flipped the okonomiyaki high into the air and each landed with perfect precision on the customer's plates. The customers broke into cheers as Ukyo took a bow.

"Thank you, thank you!" Ukyo said with as much modesty as she could muster. "It was really nothing."

Just then the sound a plane went over. But instead of passing away it intensified and intensified until it was a deafening roar. "What the?" Ukyo pressed her hands over her ears along with everyone else.

"Ukyo! What's happening?" Konatsu grabbed Ukyo's shoulder, looking slightly scared.

"I don't know!" Ukyo shouted over the noise. Then she pulled away from him and made her way towards the restaurant entrance to the beach. There was a strong wind blowing sand in every direction and Ukyo hand to hold her arm up to protect her eyes.

The winds began to die down and all the beach patrons could now see that a jet was parked on a vacant space of beach (the people sitting there had run away in panic of course).

Ukyo took several steps forward, looking angry. "What's the big idea of parking in front of my restaurant? Move this hunk of metal out of here!" She shouted towards the plane.

There was a loud hiss as the cockpit swung open and Kuno was revealed in the driver's seat. "Ms. Ukyo! So good to see you!" He shouted and waved to her.

Ukyo blinked and stared at him in utter confusion. "You're… Kuno. What are you doing out here? And with a jet?"

"I rented it! I've brought something for you!" Kuno threw out an invitation, which Ukyo caught. She looked at it for a moment. "You want me to come to a wedding?"

"Not just a wedding! THE wedding! I'm remarrying my lovely Pigtailed Girl!" Kuno shouted happily.

Ukyo blinked. "Pigtailed Girl?" She looked back at the invitation, thinking hard. "Why does that sound familiar?" Then she noticed the date printed on the paper. "Kuno, this wedding is tomorrow! Why the hell did you wait until the last possible second? How am I supposed to get things in order and get to Nerima by tomorrow?"

Kuno gasped. "I hadn't thought of that! Perhaps I should have invited you yesterday." He held a hand to his chin, thinking. "I know! I will escort you to Nerima myself!" He patted his fist on his other hand and began searching for something beneath his feet.

"What do you mean?" Ukyo asked. A secant later she caught a helmet that Kuno thrown down to her.

"Hurry! Hop in! We must be quick! There is still one more I have to invite!" Kuno shouted to her.

"Are you crazy? I'm not riding in that thing!" Ukyo yelled.

"Ukyo! What's going on?" Konatsu ran towards her, and then he spotted the jet. "Wow! Would you look at that!"

"Baron Van-Idiot wants me come to his wedding." Ukyo sighed.

"You should go!" Konatsu said with zeal.

"What? Can you the restaurant on your own?" Ukyo asked skeptically.

"We have the hired help and Satu can help out too." Konatsu took Ukyo's hands. "When someone with a jet comes to get you, you can't just refuse! I was watching something about the Kuno wedding on TV earlier. This is going to be awesome! And you hardly ever take vacations!"

"Alright, alright." Ukyo groaned. "I'll go."

"Good!" He smiled happily. "What do you need to pack?"

"No time!" Kuno shouted in panic, looking at his watch. "There's only 22 hours left until the wedding! We'll have to make haste! I'll provide you with whatever you need!" He reached down and grabbed Ukyo's wrist.

"HEY!" Ukyo shouted as he pulled her up and she fell into the seat behind him. There were only two seats in the jet. Ukyo glared as she sat up. "Geez, fine. I guess I'll see you in a day or so, Konatsu. Give Satu a hug goodbye for me, okay?"

"I will! Take lots of pictures! I love you! Bye!" Konatsu waved goodbye with a smile on his face as the top of the cockpit closed.

Ukyo suddenly noticed the controls in front of her. "Wait, doesn't it take two people to fly a jet?"

"Does it? I got here without problems." Kuno turned on the plane and the engine revved up.

"I'm almost sure it does…" Then Ukyo was struck with a thought. "You do have a pilot's license, don't you?"

Kuno laughed. "Don't be silly! Pilots don't need a license! The airway is freedom incarnate! Would you need a license to swim in the ocean? Certainly you do not need one to fly! What a sad and dreary world that would be!" The plane lifted off the ground and into the sky with a roar that overpowered Ukyo's scream.

_SOME MORE TIME LATER IN THE SHOPPING DISTRICT OF PARIS_

"Wonderful selection Mrs. McCollum." The cashier said as she carefully wrapped the expensive clothing in boxes.

"Naturally, I have an eye for this sort of thing." Nabiki answered as she looked in a full-length mirror set up for customers, examining her red dress and diamond necklace. "So how much do I owe you?"

"Let's see…" The cashier pressed some buttons on the register. "Two thousand thirty four dollars and fifty one cents."

"There you go." Nabiki drew a credit card from her purse.

Several minutes later Nabiki was standing in the street, tapping her foot as the chauffeur carried her purchases out to the limo. He grumbled as he dumped the last of the packages into place. "Very good!" She clapped her hands together. "Hmn?"

The winds had started to blow behind her, along with the sound of a plane approaching. She turned around in time to see a jet hover down towards the limo.

"Good God!" The chauffeur shouted over the noise of the engine, grabbing his chest and leaning on the limo for support.

The cockpit opened and Kuno stood up holding a megaphone. "Nabiki Tendo! You are hereby invited to my wedding! But there is no time for talk!" He threw down a rope ladder from the plane. "We must be quick to make it in time!"

Ukyo leaned over the side of the open cockpit, looking sick with her green complexion and disheveled hair. "Ten… hours…" She said in a raspy voice. "COULDN'T YOU HAVE DROPPED ME OFF IN TOKYO YOU MANIAC?" She screeched at Kuno.

"Kuno baby!" Nabiki smiled and waved. "Long time no see! So you're getting married, huh?"

"Yes! Remarried! Now grab the rope quickly! Time is running short!" Kuno shouted.

"Hmn…" Nabiki looked at the rope ladder for a moment, then she grabbed it. "Sure, why not?"

The chauffeur stepped forward. "Mrs. McCollum, what about your luggage?"

"Just take it back to the hotel. I'll call when I want my private jet to come pick me up." Nabiki explained as she was hoisted into the air by the rope. "This should be interesting to say the least."

"AH! NO! LET ME OUT!" Ukyo cried.

_MEANWHILE AT THE TENDO DOJO_

The sun was setting over the houses in the distance as the Saotome family sat down for dinner. Everyone was staring at Ranma in silence. He tapped his leg and shot a look at all of them and around the room.

Genma's brow twitched in anger. "Would you relax, boy? She's probably gone!" He shouted, suddenly irate. "You're making everyone nervous!"

"I can't help it! If I let my guard down for even a secant, she's there! Like a vulture!" Ranma growled. Right as he finished saying this, Jatsuma picked up a knife and hurled it towards him. It hit the mark right between Ranma's eyes.

"AHH!" Daichi shouted. "DAD!" Makoto yelled at the same moment.

The knife clattered to the table, leaving nothing but a red spot on Ranma's forehead. He was in complete dismay for a moment before looking down. "A butter knife?"

"Huh? Damn it! I meant to throw this one!" The fake Jatsuma cursed in a female voice, as she held up a sharper knife. Ranma booted her through the ceiling, panting heavily. "TURE LOVE CONQUERS ALL!" She shouted as she flew into the distance.

"Damn, I can't take much more of this! She has GOT to go!" Ranma huffed.

"Maybe she'll leave you alone after the wedding tomorrow." Akane suggested. "She just wants to know that there's no threat to her marriage after all. Just let her know you'll leave them alone."

Ranma's eyes flashed. "I will not! You don't get it! Kuno thinks it's me! The Pigtailed Girl I mean! And that's what everyone else is going to think too after tomorrow!"

"Come on, Ranma! Grow up!" Akane shouted. "Who do we know that's going to be there anyway?"


	6. Aloha!

Sorry the chapter's late. I know it's not a good excuse but I've been a little obsessed with Ouran High Host Club lately. So I'm behind in my writing. Plus, having Principal Kuno talk is a spell check nightmare.

**ALOHA!**

The next morning things had not improved much for Ranma. He hadn't slept a wink all night because he had had to spend it fending off his evil counterpart. The Pigtailed Girl was as determined to make sure Ranma didn't interfere with her wedding, and with only a few hours left she was getting desperate.

"You leave my Kunokins alone!" She beat Ranma over the head with a mallet. He ignored her and took another bite of his breakfast, chewing it with a grimace. "You will not stand in the way of our happy day!" She hit him again. "I won't allow it!" She whacked him several times in succession.

Ranma gritted his teeth and clinched his fists in anger, breaking his chopsticks. "CUT IT OUT!" He snatched the mallet away from her.

"EEK!" The Pigtailed Girl shrunk away.

"It's your fault for marrying him in the first place! And pretending to be me!" Ranma's eye twitched. "Do you think I can just stand by and do nothing while you're deceiving Kuno and destroying my reputation?" He snapped.

"No…" The Pigtailed Girl replayed in a hushed voice. "THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO KILL YOU!" She flipped the table over and banged it down on top of him, then ran.

"YOU'RE DEAD!" Ranma pulled himself up and took off after her into the hallway.

"See you Dad!" Makoto ran down the stairs and towards the front door, passing her father in the hallway. She was wearing her school uniform and carrying her school case as she hopped out the front door.

"Come right back after school! Or we'll be late for the wedding!" Akane called after Makoto, coming down the stairs behind her.

Ranma stopped in his tracks. "Wha-?"

"Bye Mom! Bye Dad!" Daichi and Jatsuma dodged around Akane as they ran down the stairs and out the door after Makoto, trying to catch up.

"Did you lay out your clothes for me to iron?" Akane shouted after them. "I told you to do it five times!"

"Yeah!" Jatsuma shouted from the end of the walkway as they rounded the corner and were out of sight.

"There isn't going to BE a wedding! Not if I have anything to say about it!" Ranma shouted towards Akane.

Akane put her hands on her hips. "Well, what are you going to do? Sit down and rationally tell Kuno that you and the Pigtailed Girl are the same person? That it was you he was chasing after all that time? But the person he actually married is just a girl who's impersonating your girl form? I don't think he'll ever listen."

"I was thinking more along the lines of asking him for a divorce." Ranma grumbled.

"Ranma! You can't do that!" Akane shouted.

"Hey! This isn't just for me you know! Kuno wouldn't have married her in the first place if he knew the truth! Its… its entrapment! That's what it is!" Ranma shot back. "She tricked him!"

"They have a kid, Ranma! What about that? How can you just wreck their marriage?"

"It was screwed up enough without me!"

"ALOHA!"

Ranma and Akane jumped back in surprise as someone shot through the door. Ranma stepped in front of Akane to protect her, putting up his stance, before he realized who it was. "P- Principal Kuno?"

"Hullo, little bruda and sista! How you been doing all dese years?" The tanned old man came forward with a skip in his step. He looked just the way they remembered him, except that his hair was now gray. The contrast was striking against his dark skin and the miniature palm tree on top of his head jiggled from side to side as he laughed. "I hear de little bruda invited you to his wedding."

Ranma took a moment to compose himself. "Uh… yeah."

The former Principal held up a microphone, tears suddenly streaming down his face. "How sad! My own son invites everyone under de yellow sun to his wedding, except his own family! He is a selfish bruda! And after I tried to give him a new haircut and everything!"

"I might have felt sorry for him if he hadn't said that last part." Akane whispered. Ranma nodded in agreement. But Principal Kuno must have heard them because he continued to cry and blubber.

Ranma glared in annoyance. "Well what do you want us to do about it? Suck it up! Just go if it means so much to you!"

"It's da principal of the thing! No pun intended." Principal Kuno answered.

"An opening!" The Pigtailed Girl dropped from the ceiling, knocking Ranma over the head the baseball bat he had been chasing her with yesterday. There was a loud crack and he fell to the floor.

"Ranma!" Akane gasped. She quickly turned him over and held up his head.

"That'll teach him to socialize with my father-in-law!" The Pigtailed Girl clapped her hands together and held them up in prayer. "The threat is passed. Rest in peace, Ranma Saotome."

"Ranma! Wake up!" Akane shouted in concern, shaking him back and forth. "Move, you idiot!"

"I ain't dead! So don't get all worked up!" He shouted angrily. Akane sighed in relief and he jumped to his feet. "You're gonna pay for that one!" Ranma yelled at the Pigtailed Girl.

"EEK!" She grabbed hold of Principal Kuno's arm. "Protect me, Father- in-law!"

"Daughter-in-law? What's a little sista like you doing here?" Principal Kuno asked in surprise. "With da wedding only hours away, I thought you'd be getting ready right now."

The Pigtailed Girl broke into tears. "I would be! But I can't- I can't- I can't defeat Ranma! He's too crafty! What am I to do? What am I TO DO?" She buried her eyes in her hands, bawling like a baby.

"Hey… Don't cry! It- it'll be okay." Akane said unconvincingly.

"No it won't! Ranma will ruin everything! EVERTHING!" The Pigtailed Girl curled up into a ball on the floor and rolled back and forth uneasily, tears streaming down her face.

"Ranma! Do something!" Akane hissed.

"Like what? I'm not the one who's wrong here!" He defended himself.

"I know, but… but look at her!" Akane said. The Pigtailed Girl was leaving a trail of tears wherever she rolled, spelling out Kuno's name on the floor with the tears.

"Maybe I came at a bad time." Principal Kuno mused.

"Geez! Okay!" Ranma kneeled down. "Hey you, listen up…uh… Pigtailed Girl." She rolled over and stared up at him, looking completely pathetic sitting in a pool of her own tears. "If… if it really means that much to you…I guess…I…"

A smile grew on the Pigtailed Girl's face. "You'll leave us alone?" She asked hopefully. Ranma cricked his neck. "I didn't say that."

"Oh, happy day!" The Pigtailed Girl jumped to her feet with new energy. "Now Kuno and I can get remarried! And take our second honeymoon!"

"HONEYMOON?" Ranma shouted.

"Of course! Last time we went to a secluded island but this time we're going to Paris! Romance capitol of the world!" The Pigtailed Girl blushed and put her hands over her cheeks. "It will be perfect! Just like our first honeymoon!"

"Why? What happened on your first honeymoon?" Ranma asked desperately.

"Oh, I can't say! It's far too embarrassing!" The Pigtailed Girl giggled. Ranma shivered and twitched, then he began to grit his teeth angrily.

"Don't ask if you don't want the answer." Akane commented, looking thoroughly disgusted.

Ranma was starting to shake with anger, his face red and his fists clinching at the air. "You…you…" He tried to form a sentence but couldn't mange it, so he turned and ran down the hall, ducking into the kitchen. There was the sound of running water.

The next thing the Pigtailed Girl knew, she was tied up from head to foot with rope, gagged and sitting in a closet. Female Ranma stood outside the door, energy waves pulsing around her. "If you think…I'll let you get away with this…. YOU'RE DEAD WRONG!" She slammed to the closet door shut.

Ranma turned and stomped down the hall in a huff. Akane looked at the closet door for a moment before going after her. "Hey! Wait a minute! Ranma, what are you going to do?"

"What I should have done the first time I ever saw Kuno!" Ranma declared. "DUMP HIM!"

"Oh, good luck with dat. Little bruda's a little hard headed." The Principal looked around. "Where'd dat husband of yours go?" He asked Akane.

Akane groaned in irritation.

_SOON AFTER, AT BUNRAKU HIGH SCHOOL_

Several students shouted as a motorcycle zoomed past them, their hair and clothes blowing in its wake. Franklin turned his motorcycle to the side and came to a screeching halt in front of Bunraku High, whipping off his helmet a second later. The onlookers stared at him in awe and curiosity, chattering to each other.

"What's all the ruckus about?" Iikiba asked, craning his neck to see over the people.

Makoto caught a glimpse of the motorcycle as Franklin dismounted. She gasped and grabbed Iikiba's arm. "Come on! We're going to be late!" She dragged him away from the crowd and ran for the school.

"What? HEY! Let go, stupid! We still have half an hour! Let go I said!" Iikiba shouted as he scrapped across the pavement.

"Makoto!" Franklin pushed his way through the people and stopped when Makoto was in view.

She froze in mid-run. Iikiba looked up at her in confusion.

"Oh no." Daichi groaned from the sidelines. "This can't end well." He sighed. Jatsuma nodded in agreement.

The onlookers stared at them, and Makoto was only too aware of it. She unfroze and slowly turned around to face Franklin. "H- Hey there. W- wha- wha- wha- what are you doing here? Of all places?" She ended in a strangely high-pitched voice. Iikiba, who she had let go of, remained seated on the ground and glared up at her, then at Franklin.

Franklin blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "Well I was going to go to St. Habereke's, but I decided to transfer here so we could hang out more." He laughed happily.

Makoto tried to laugh too but it came out more like a sob. She drew back a step, aware of all the eyes on her.

Franklin walked forward towards her. "I wanted to talk about our date later today. It would be easier if you just came with me after school, so we'll be on time."

Excited chatter broke out between the students standing around. Makoto's anger flared up. "I tried to tell you! I'm not going out with you! I have a boyfriend!" She pulled Iikiba up by the collar.

"Leave me out of it!" Iikiba huffed, folding his arms and glaring away.

"Iikiba, you're supposed to stand up for me!" She said irritably. "This is no time for you to be moody!"

Iikiba turned back to her. "Who are you calling moody? You're the one who keeps changing your mood every time your turn around!"

Franklin's shoulders drooped. "So it was him. I didn't know." He stared at the ground, much more reserved than before. "Are you two very close?"

Makoto sighed, looking down at her feet. "I'm really sorry, Franklin."

Iikiba glared from one to the other for a moment then grunted. "Why don't you just go? You _obviously _want to!" He snapped at Makoto.

"Iikiba!" Makoto hissed.

Franklin's eyes shot open and he grabbed Iikiba's hands in his, catching Iikiba completely off guard. "You! Do you really mean that?" He demanded hopefully.

Iikiba blinked and looked at him in utter confusion. "Huh? Well…uh…"

"You would give up Makoto for the sake of our happiness? You are a good man! Iikiba, wasn't it? I've never heard of such a noble act before! Never in all my years!" Franklin continued with zeal.

"Noble? But…" Iikiba stammered.

It took a moment for Makoto to react. "Hey- HEY! What the hell do you mean?"

"We can finally be happy, Makoto!" Franklin declared as he put an arm around her shoulders. Makoto shook with anger and elbowed him in the gut. "OOF!" Franklin fell to his knees.

"I already said I'm not dating you! How many times do I have to say it?" She snapped. Then she rounded on Iikiba, who was still looking completely bewildered. "And you! You have such a BIG MOUTH!" She kicked him with all the force she could muster. The crowd parted just in time for him to fly by and smack into a tree. There was a sharp crack and the tree snapped in half, the top half falling to the ground along with Iikiba.

Huffing angrily, Makoto stomped towards the school, leaving both boys in the dust.

Jatsuma and Daichi rushed over to Iikiba. He rolled off the tree trunk, his knees and hands resting shakily on the ground, his teeth gritted and his brow furrowed. "So that's how it is?"

"Trouble in paradise?" Jatsuma asked with a smirk.

"SHUT UP!" Iikiba snapped.

_MEANWHILE, IN THE FOREST OUTSIDE TOKYO_

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" Ranma asked, looking around at the dense foliage and wondering if trusting Principal Kuno was a good idea. Because he was still in girl form his strides weren't as long as normal, making the hike slightly more strenuous than Ranma would have liked.

"I'm sure little sista. We're getting close, dat I'm sure of." Principal Kuno answered. "I was up here yesterday to spy on da preparations. Da little bruda's really going all out on dis. And he went through so much trouble not to invite me!"

"Focus!" Ranma shouted. "I need to get there as quickly as possible and put a stop to it!"

"Right! We'll crash da party!" The Principal declared, and then ran off at top speed.

"HEY! Wait up!" Ranma took off after him, pushing aside bushes and limbs as she went. It wasn't long before she came to the edge of the forest. Principal Kuno was already standing there, staring at the scene before them.

There was a large cathedral centered in a clearing. Grass grew around it and a stone pathway led from the cathedral entrance to the stairway down the side of the mountainside to the parking area and highway below. There were men in catering uniforms running around, setting up a huge buffet table outside next to the church. The punch bowl was roughly the size of small car and there was even a life-size ice sculpture of Kuno and the Pigtailed Girl embracing. Sakura blossoms fell gently from the sky like snow. Upon further inspection Ranma saw that there were men on top of the cathedral roof throwing them over.

"Wow. This is…" Ranma started to say.

"Beautiful." Principal Kuno finished.

"I was gonna say 'over the top'." She took a few steps forward, looking around at the decorations and buffet table. Just how many people were going to be at this thing?

"There you are!" A woman ran towards Ranma, looking disheveled and panicky. She was carrying several different rolls of lace and a pincushion. "Where have you been? You were supposed to be here hours ago! We're completely behind schedule!" She grabbed Ranma's wrist and started pulling her towards the church.

"Hold on!" Ranma pulled her hand free. "I'm not here to get ready! I need to talk to Kuno!"

The woman blinked. "I'm sorry, but your husband isn't here right now. He called in and said he would be in about an hour before the wedding begins. He's had to go out of the country suddenly."

"WHAT? Today? On his wedding day? What the heck is he going out of the country for?" Ranma demanded.

"I don't know for sure, but I heard he went to Paris. Perhaps making honeymoon arrangements?" She asked with a mischievous smile.

Ranma grimaced. "He might as well save his breath!"

"Hey…" The woman took a closer look at Ranma. "You are the Pigtailed Girl, right? We only met a few times for wedding plans but… you're really acting differently."

"Huh?" Ranma suddenly looked worried. "Wha- what do you mean? It's just lil old me! Eh-hehehe…" Ranma tried to put on a sweet smile and put her arms up in a very feminine manner. "I'm just sooo nervous! I wanted to see Kunokins as soon as possible!"

The woman smiled. "Don't worry, everything will be alright! Of course you'd have cold feet!" She put a reassuring hand on Ranma's shoulder.

"Oh, thank you. It's just… with all the excitement and preparations… oh, I feel faint." Ranma put a hand to her forehead and swayed on the spot. _Heh, I've still got it._ She thought with an inward smirk. "Perhaps if I saw Ku-"

"Then we have to hurry!" The woman pulled a whistle out of her pocket and blew it loudly.

"Eh?" Ranma snapped out of her fake faint. There was a rumble and a herd of girls rushed out of the cathedral towards them. "Who are they?" Ranma shouted.

"Your fashion design team, of course!" The woman said happily. "You hired us after all! Come on ladies! Time to go to work!" She blew the whistle again.

"GAH!" Ranma was lifted off the ground by the giggling girls and ushered into the cathedral. "Wait! This isn't necessary! Really!" Her pleas were drowned by the sound of the girl's giggling and footsteps.

Meanwhile, Principal Kuno picked up a chicken leg off the buffet table and took a bite of it. One of the caterers noticed and rushed over. "I'm sorry sir, but the buffet isn't open yet."

"So you want to throw me out, huh? Go ahead and try! I can take it!" Principal Kuno puffed out his chest.

The caterer looked confused. "I beg your pardon?"

"Dat's pretty bold of you! I am the groom's own father after all!"

"I'll just… leave you too it." The caterer backed away slowly.


	7. Is This Guy for Real?

Has it been three months since I updated? Crap!

**IS THIS GUY FOR REAL?**

"Everyone please be nice to your new classmate, our resident Hawaiein, Hawaun, Hawaiien… you get the picture." Ms. Meadows ushered Franklin into the classroom, looking even more excited than usual. Franklin was now wearing a regular school uniform and it greatly changed the aspect of his appearance. He didn't look nearly as tough without the leather jacket. The class smiled politely and greeted him simultaneously. "Nice to meet you!"

The sound of someone nearly falling from his seat came from the back of the classroom. No one bothered to check. The sound was so familiar to them by now that it didn't even catch their attention.

"Here? In my class?" Daichi whispered to himself as he tried to stay steady. "That's just _great_." He sighed, sitting his book up so he could hide his face behind it. The last thing he wanted right now was to get involved.

"Thank you very much everyone. I'm Franklin." He waved to the class, who were all intrigued by the Hawaiian boy.

"How exotic!" Ms. Meadows squealed, taken in more than anyone else. "Let's see, where should we put you…" She looked around for an empty seat.

"I would like to sit next to Daichi Saotome." Franklin announced boldly. "If that's not too much trouble." He added as an afterthought.

"Huh?" Daichi looked up in surprise, everyone turned to look at him this time.

Ms. Meadows stared at Franklin for a moment and smiled. "How nice! You've already made a friend! But there are no available seats around Daichi…"

"I don't mind moving." The boy next to Daichi stood up.

"Very good!" Ms. Meadows smiled. The boy collected his stuff and made his way to a different seat. Daichi gaped. "Wait! Uh…Dude!" He shouted.

"You don't even know my name." The boys said indignantly as he left.

"I know you say 'dude' a lot." Daichi grumbled.

Franklin sat down in the now empty desk, giving Daichi a smile. "You're Makoto's brother, right?" He asked earnestly.

"Y…Yeah." Daichi answered uneasily.

Franklin leaned towards him with a serious look on his face. "Tell me honestly, what are my chances with Makoto? As family, you should know better than anyone!" He inched closer with every syllable.

"Wha-?" Daichi leaned away from Franklin. "S- Sorry, but I really prefer… not to get in the middle." He laughed awkwardly. He was beginning to sweat under Franklin's stare.

Suddenly Franklin's persona chanced. He smiled and returned fully to his own desk. "Right. Of course. It was thoughtless of me to ask." He returned to his books and began taking notes as Ms. Meadows started the lecture.

Daichi breathed a heavy sigh of relief. _Thank goodness. _He thought. _For a minute there I thought he was going to grill me about Makoto._

But twenty minutes later, "So, how long has she been with that Iikiba fellow?" Franklin asked urgently, as though holding in the question had been painful.

Daichi looked up from his lecture notes with a sour expression. _I guess being left alone was_ _too much to hope for. _"Uh, well um…" He thought for a moment. "I suppose it's been about eight years. If you calling it 'being together'…"

"EIGHT YEARS?" Franklin sprang up in his seat so quickly that he knocked Daichi to the floor. Everyone turned to see what the disruption was.

Ms. Meadows looked at them curiously as Daichi pulled himself up. "Is there a problem?"

Franklin composed himself. "No, it's nothing! Just, uh…" His expression changed as though he had just noticed something. "That problem, number two." He pointed to the board.

"Do you need me to explain it more thoroughly?" She asked.

"No, no! I just… think you may have made a mistake." Franklin stuttered hesitantly.

Ms. Meadow's eyes widened and she turned around to double check question two. It was a moment before she saw the problem.

"Oh, I'm sorry! One liter is 1000cm3 so the solution should be 482 cm3 x 1 liter/1000 cm3 which equals 0.482 liters!" She corrected her mistake on the board. "Thanks for pointing that out, Franklin! It seems we have a genius in the classroom!" She said in a teasing manner.

"What? Me? NO! I'm not smart! I hardly pass anything! I'm practically brain dead! I'M ALL ABOUT FUN AND ROMANCE!" Franklin shouted, suddenly desperate. He huffed heavily for the next few seconds while the other students stared at him.

_What the heck? What is this guy's deal?_ Daichi thought, his eyes twitching.

Franklin sat down and was quiet for the next ten minutes, allowing Ms. Meadows to return to her lecture on molarity. Then he turned back to Daichi. "Did you say eight years?"

"Yes." Daichi answered firmly.

"I see. So they're childhood sweethearts." Franklin mumbled. "Then it's only a juvenile romance." He commented with small smile.

"Eh? I… suppose. Bu- But like I said, it's really none of my business!" Daichi waved his hand and laughed nervously, trying to shake off the pressure of Franklin's questions.

"Right." Franklin returned to his book and didn't bug Daichi for the rest of the period, but somehow his new confident smirk made Daichi even more uneasy than his questions.

When the bell rang for class change there was a shuffling of seats and books as students packed up their things. Daichi tried to quickly get his books in his school bag but he saw Lotion walking in his direction and tripped over his own feet, papers flying. "AAH!"

"Daichi! Are you okay?" Lotion asked, leaning over the desk to see him on the floor.

"Gr- Great! Wonderful!" He replied with a smile, red in the face. Then he quickly climbed back into his seat.

Lotion sighed in exasperation and turned to Franklin. "Welcome to Bunraku High, Franklin. I know being a new student can be tough. So if you ever need any help, don't hesitate to ask."

Franklin smiled and slung his pack over his shoulder. "Thanks, but your concern isn't necessary. I'll be fine." He started to walk away.

"Hold on!" Lotion called. Franklin stopped and turned around before she continued. "I wanted to ask if you might be interested in joining the science club. The way you handled that problem was great for a junior! Most of our senior members have trouble figuring that sort of problem out!" Lotion explained.

Franklin suddenly looked extremely worried. "Uh… well…actually…. I'm a… sophomore… WELL BYE!" He took off, knocking other students aside as he ran out the door in a frenzy.

A fell wind seemed to blow as Daichi and Lotion stared after him astonishment. "He's a sophomore?" Lotion asked as if to confirm what she had heard.

Daichi nodded.

"But this class is only open to juniors and seniors." Lotion continued.

Daichi nodded again.

_SOON AFTER_

"Hey, psst! Hey!" Jatsuma whispered loudly in Iikiba's direction. It was study hall period and most of the desks in the room were askew and bunched together so that friends could sit together and talk under their breath. "Iikiba! Hey!" Jatsuma rolled up a piece of paper and threw it at a disgruntled Iikiba, who was trying to best to ignore Jatsuma. Everyone in the room could hear Jatsuma 'whispering'. Everyone except the teacher it seemed, who was sitting at his desk grading papers.

Iikiba gritted his teeth and stared hard at the book in front of him, not taking in a word of it. There was a loud scraping noise as Jatsuma scooted his desk to the other side of the room, other people moving their desks out of the way so he could get by. Iikiba glared at the book and started to shake with pent up annoyance.

"Iikiba, did you hear me?" Jatsuma, asked, his desk now next to his.

"This is study hall! Shouldn't you be studying?" Iikiba snapped angrily.

"I just wanted to ask what you're going to do about Makoto." Jatsuma answered indignantly.

Iikiba huffed and looked back at his book.

"I guess this isn't any worse than when Razor showed up, right?" Jatsuma commented. "Then again, Makoto seems to kinda like this Franklin guy."

Iikiba twitched. "I couldn't care less! I hope they live happily ever after! Maybe then I can have some peace!"

Jatsuma smirked and put his hands behind his head. "Yep, she's probably just staying with you though a sense of duty. You've been together for so long after all, she's probably losing interest in you."

Iikiba growled and rounded on Jatsuma. "Would you…" He grabbed him by the scruff of the shirt and threw him across the classroom. "STOP TALKING ABOUT THINGS I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT!"

Jatsuma flew towards the back of the room and landed headfirst on top of a desk. "Ow." He squinted through his tearing eyes and then snapped them wide open. He was face to face with Razor. He had landed with his head on her desk and the rest of his body was curled up in a sitting position above him. Razor did not look pleased.

"Uh… hey there… Razor." Jatsuma stuttered with an awkward smile. Razor glared at him angrily. Their classmates turned to watch with awed looks. A moment later, though it seemed to last an eternity, the desk split in half and Jatsuma fell to the floor in a heap and didn't move except for a slight twitch.

Razor gaped in shock and then her expression turned even angrier than before. "My desk! I was actually trying to WORK you know!" She stood up angrily. (Of course, no one knew she was a she. Razor was wearing a boy's uniform.)

One of the girls in class leaned over to her friend. "He missed his chance." She sighed in disappointment. Her friend nodded in agreement. Then they turned back to watch eagerly.

Razor shot a glare at them and then another down at Jatsuma, shaking with anger and embarrassment. "STOP SITTING ON THE GROUND LIKE A LUMP!" She booted him out the window, shattering the glass. The students oohed and ahhed.

"Heh, that aught to take him down a peg." Iikiba grinned as he watched the scene from his desk.

"No talking during study hall, Mr. Hibiki." The teacher said in his monotone voice.

Iikiba's mouth dropped. "But they just-!" He started to protest but then he just slumped over and grumbled. "Oh never mind."

_LATER THAT DAY_

Makoto stuck her head around the corner of the school and glanced around the front yard. There was a crowd of students leaving school on bikes and by foot. She gave a sigh of relief when Franklin was nowhere in sight. But as she stepped out into the open someone tapped her on the shoulder from behind. "AAAHHH!" Makoto jumped about ten feet in the air and fell hard on her back.

"Makoto! Are you okay? I didn't mean to startle you!" Franklin rushed forward to help her to her feet, but Makoto jumped up first.

"STOP THAT!" She screeched.

Franklin looked utterly bewildered. "Stop what?"

"Following me around! And…and coming to my home and school! You're really starting to freak me out!"

Franklin looked as though he had been struck with an arrow in the chest. He even reeled back clutching his stomach and fell to his knees. Makoto was suddenly concerned he was going to be sick. "F- Franklin?" She took a hesitant step forward.

Jatsuma, Daichi and Iikiba suddenly appeared next to Makoto, causing her to jump back in surprise. "Makoto! What did you do?" Jatsuma asked urgently. "Did you beat up Franklin?"

"NO! I didn't! And don't sneak up on me like that!" She snapped, still breathing heavily.

Franklin grabbed Makoto's ankle, causing her to gasp and look down. He had a strangely serious look on his face. "I'm sorry, Makoto. Forgive me. I just wanted to get you know you better…" He released her leg and began to crawl away on his hands and knees, his face plowing through the dirt. Makoto and the boys stared after him with their mouths gaping. "Is this guy for real?" Jatsuma commented.

"Wa-…Wait!" Makoto called. "Maybe I was too harsh!"

Daichi and Jatsuma shifted their gaping expressions to Makoto. Iikiba twitched and glared determinedly in the other direction.

Makoto took a deep breath. "I mean… You are new in this country…and-"

"Of course! Of course! We must take things slowly!" Franklin took Makoto's hands in his. "We don't want to destroy what we have already!"

"What exactly _do_ you have?" Daichi asked.

Iikiba snorted angrily. "Forget this! I'm going home!" He started to stomp away.

"Iikiba!" Makoto shouted. "Get back here! You're just going to get lost! There's no point in getting jealous, cause I'm not going out with him!"

Iikiba whirled around and zipped back to Makoto. "How many times to I have to say it? I'm NOT jealous!" He shouted at her face.

Makoto narrowed her eyes. "Give me a break."

"How dare you shout in Makoto's face!" Franklin pushed between them. "I get it now! You're the abusive type of boyfriend!" He declared as he pointed an accusing finger at Iikiba. "That's why poor Makoto told me off! Because she's scared of you!"

Iikiba's jaw dropped. "Huh?"

Makoto pinched between her eyes in frustration. "It's really not like that, Franklin."

"You have it all backwards!" Iikiba yelled, then he pointed at Makoto. "She's the abusive one!"

"What was that?" Makoto demanded.

"Better put a stop to this before it goes any further." Jatsuma sighed as he pulled out a water bucket and walked forward.

Iikiba saw Jatsuma coming and took a step backwards. "Hey… hey! What are you… Stay back!" Jatsuma doused Iikiba with the water and a second later a fluffy little black dog with a red bandana sat where Iikiba had been.

Franklin gasped and froze like a statue, staring at the chihuahua.

"Barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark!" Iikiba yipped madly at Jatsuma.

"There we go. One fight cut short." Jatsuma grinned. "I am such a nice person."

"Where did you get that water bucket?" Daichi asked in exasperation.

"And who told you to cut in on our fight?" Makoto said through gritted teeth.

"Ha- How did-? What just-?" Franklin stuttered, pointing at Iikiba. His eyes were wide and dinner plates and he was starting to sweat. "THAT'S BEST MAGIC ACT I'VE EVER SEEN!"

Daichi, Jatsuma and Makoto all fell to the ground.

Franklin ran forward and picked Iikiba off the ground. "It's amazing! Where was he keeping the dog? In his school case? And where did he hide so quickly? He even left an extra pair of clothes behind to create the illusion that he became a dog!" Franklin picked up Iikiba's shirt. Iikiba growled and opened his mouth to take a chomp out of Franklin's hand, but Makoto snatched him away from Franklin just in time.

"I think you're a little confused." Makoto said with a half smile. "You see this really is Iikiba." She held the little chihuahua up to Franklin.

Franklin stared at it. "That's a dog."

Iikiba growled and tried to jump at Franklin's face, but Makoto restrained him by holding him closer. "Be good! He doesn't know." She huffed at Iikiba.

"In any case it seems that Iikiba fled once I exposed him for the abusive boyfriend he really was." Franklin smiled. "Don't worry, Makoto! I'll protect you from any of his violent repercussions. But we've wasted enough time! Now we're free to go on our date!"

Makoto looked thoroughly frustrated by now. Instead of saying anything she just turned to her brothers and passed Iikiba off to Daichi. Then she held out a hand to Jatsuma. "Water."

"Here you go." Jatsuma handed her a water bucket.

Makoto turned the bucket over and poured it over her own head. Franklin gasped again as a black and white capuchin monkey appeared where Makoto had been. The bucket fell to the ground with a loud clank.

Franklin stared at the monkey for a few silent moments. "He… he whisked away Makoto as well! He _is_ good!"

"Geez! We don't have time for this. Mom is going to be mad if we're late! It's already three forty!" Daichi said, looking at his watch. "Can we deal with this later?"

"Fine by me." Jatsuma held out an arm and Makoto climbed up around his shoulders, her tail twitching as though she were still irritated. "Bye Franklin!"

Iikiba yipped the whole way as Jatsuma and Daichi ran towards the front gates.

_MEANWHILE AT THE CATHEDRAL_

Ranma stood in front of three full-length mirrors wearing a puffy, but still nice looking, white wedding gown. The dress was adorned with lace for sleeves and white flowers sown around the neck, middle and bottom of the dress. The skirt jutted out about a foot from Ranma's legs in every direction and gave her the appearance of a white cupcake with her hair being the cherry on top.

Ranma sighed as the giggling girls proceeded to pin more white flowers into her hair. "Like I said, this really isn't- AH-HAC!" She coughed as one of the girls attacked her face with a large powder-puff. Then another girl pinched her cheeks in one hand and started to smudge gloss over Ranma's lips. "Hey! Cut it out!" Ranma pulled away from her.

"Don't struggle so much, Mrs. Kuno. We're nearly finished." The head fashion designer assured her. "You'll be the most beautiful bride ever!" All the girls sighed dreamily at their own work.

"I already told you! I'm just here to see Kuno!" Ranma shouted in frustration.

One of the girls scoffed. "Don't be silly. Everyone knows it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding. Besides, you have the rest of your lives to see each other."

"I think it's sweet how she misses him so much!" Another girl squealed.

"So, just when is he supposed to be back anyway?" Ranma asked as sweetly as she could, biting back a sarcastic remark.

"Well the wedding starts in twenty minutes so I'm sure he's back by now." One of the girls said as she checked her watch.

"TWENTY MINUTES?" Ranma screeched. "That's it! I'll go find Kuno myself!" She pushed her way past the girls, heading towards the door out into the sanctuary. But right before she reached the door it swung open and Kuno appeared, brazen in a golden tuxedo. "Greetings, my lovely Pigtailed Girl!"

Ranma was taken off guard and tripped on the edge of her dress. The girls squealed in horror. "Mr. Kuno! Don't you know it's unlucky to see the bride before the wedding?"

"What are you speaking of?" Kuno asked as he took Ranma into his arms, rubbing his cheek against hers. "Our love is more powerful than silly superstition!"

"Stop that!" Ranma punched him away out of habit. Then realized her mistake. "I mean…uh…so good to see you Kunokins!" She ran forward to where Kuno had landed and peeled him off the wall. "I have something very important to discuss with you!" She said in a sing songy voice.

"As do I!" Kuno declared, taking Ranma's hands in his. "This is an important time in our lives! A renewal of our vows, our trust and love for one another! Such times can not be allowed to simply pass by without some lasting memento!" With dramatic flare he reached into his coat pocket and brought out a large velvet ring case. When he opened it everyone pressed in to see it held a golden wedding ring with a huge diamond jutting out of it.

The girls squealed in delight but Ranma backed away. "Whoa! Hold on there, tiger! I think maybe you should hear me out before passing out wedding rings!"

"Of course! I merely wanted you to see it!" Kuno returned the ring to his pocket. " After all putting it on your finger is a part of the precious ceremony. I wouldn't want to ruin it!"

"Yeah, about that-" Ranma was cut off as Kuno took her hands again.

"But you can't be wearing cheap jewelry when I'm supposed to be putting a ring on your finger! It just wouldn't do!" Kuno said as he pulled at Ranma's finger.

"What are you talking abou-" Ranma gaped as he realized Kuno had pulled off his wedding ring. His real wedding ring. The same ring that Akane had put on his finger nearly twenty years earlier. "HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!" Ranma made a dive for Kuno, but he caught her in a hug instead.

"I know! I know! But you can have your wedding ring in the ceremony!" Kuno chuckled. "Meanwhile, I'll dispose of this old thing!" He held up Ranma's real wedding ring. "Strange, it almost looks like a man's wedding band."

"You moron! I said give it back!" Ranma struggled and Kuno dropped her, holding up a finger as though he had just realized something. "Right! I must go! It is very nearly time!" Kuno ran out the door and it shut behind him.

"WAIT!" Ranma tried to go after him, but the fashion girls caught her from behind and started dragging her the other way.

"No, no. You go out this way Mrs. Kuno!" They giggled happily. If they had been guys Ranma would have clobbered them. But he couldn't beat up a bunch of girls.

"NNOOOOOO!" Ranma shouted as she was hoisted up by the girls and carried away. "AKANE'S GOING TO KILL ME!"


End file.
